7/18/2010

Jesus Christ. I've taken about a 9-year vacation from the blog. Now, I'm about 30 pounds lighter, I work at a job that makes me giddy, my hair is blonder, and I've discovered that happiness in life might have a direct correlation with Sonic strawberry limeaids.

We'll get it going, now. I had a dream last night that I went to prom, but I had to leave because my house was flooding. All of the popular people kept calling me to come back. Then, in real life, Brian nudged me and told me to get off the couch. BECAUSE IT WAS 4AM. Cool as we are, we both fell asleep on the couch after playing video games.

Well, this good Saturday morning, the Lord brought me an angel. Man that sounded gay. Her name is Penny Coleman. Boy is she a vision. If I could hand-make a baby, it would be just like her. Steph and her manhunk blasted down I-29 for a little daytrip. I thought she was a lil' nuts for attempting this vacay with such a quick turn-around time, and it turns out after they got home at midnight, they pledged to spend the night in my sweet embrace, next time.



So, we picked a good day to visit. It was 124 degrees. Plus humidity. And sunray flames that were sent from hell. But off we went. I wanted to tape myself to Steph's leg, but now there are car seats involved, so we had to take separate cars. I was excited to take the to the new deli/cupcake wonderland in Midtown. After I made love to a mint-chocolate chip cupcake, we ventured down to the zoo for Pen's first exotic animal experience. Also, Jason got to put his face right up to the glass where a full-grown gorilla was spread eagle and holding it's heels.

So the five of us hiked all around the zoo, spending most of our time with the indoor exhibits that smelled exactly like pee. Turns out Omaha has a lot of bat exhibits and also that Penny is the most well-behaved tot in severe, delirious heat. I even got to tote her around the zoo with my newly-patented crotch wrap carrying system. Although I don't think Penny got to see many zoo animals. She was too interested in my tongue. God, didn't that sound dirty and illegal?



After ZT (zoo time), we went back to the Scott house and I encouraged Pen to crawl for about 45 minutes. All she would give me was a literal baby push up. That kid has strength. And if they won't let me pierce her ears, then by God, she'll be in the Olympics. Doing push ups.

Brian also held that baby, which made my woman parts ache and cry, it was so cute. He gave her one of our pillows with bells on it and was like you had just given that child the world's supply of chocolate bars. Glad we could provide your child with a pillow, Steph.

Wonderful little visit. It's seriously a good thing that plural marriages are not allowed. I love you, sweet Colemans.