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Sweet Meliss*
Suffix Abuse*
Kristina Contes*
Stilley Stuff*
Cookies For Breakfast*
Nie Nie Dialogues*
Anchored Nomad*


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the runs
jorma taccone
f my life
the found magazine
do you have the time?


Can't you hear me?
Cause I'm screamin'.

Did not go outside.

Don't wake me, please.
Don't wake me.
I was dreamin'.

Well I might just stay inside again
Well I don't go out much these days.

Sometimes I stay inside all day.
Leave me
leave me
leave me
leave me
Won't you leave me alone.
Don't you leave me alone.

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ghetto google
look at a book
brandon flowers
sex & the city quotations
best trailer, worst movie.
idiot girls club
Get high on JESUS

When they say "Don’t I know you?"
Say no.
When they invite you to the party
Remember what parties are like
Before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
They once wrote a poem.
Then reply.
If they say we should get together.
Say why?
It’s not that you don’t love them any more.
You’re trying to remember something
Too important to forget.
The church bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.
When someone recognizes you in a grocery store,
Nod briefly
and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven’t seen
In ten years
Appears at the door,
Don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

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This is a new garden over old flowers.
Wish that one day they'd figure out
how to shrink stars
and i could keep one in my bedroom.
And wish that me and him could grow old together.
And wish
that in my next life I come back as a tiger.
These are fun wishes.
In about seven minutes you can start.
'Til then, you'll just listen to the radio
from seat's edge.
As if then it's the look on your face.
As if, as if then you'll matter,
And then I can't wait.
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and never the two shall meet
said the tiger to its greatest fan.
the amount of love
you wish to give
is more than i can stand.

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*blogger, for my life hobby*
*haloscan, so no one can comment*
*Schrags, my html GOD*


Today, I've worked at the Pri for TWO YEARS.

And to celebrate, I listened to Cake's Fashion Nugget CD on repeat, ate the 'polte,
did a few number twos, and probably thought about you.

(oh, and I left a small candle burning over lunch while i was out.)

+ posted by Special J at 4:27 PM


Right, so yesterday was date night. I received some beautiful flowers, and we made our way out for a nice steak dinner at this new restaurant called "Freeport". Excellent. In fact, I want to take you all there. My meal really made my Wednesday, especially, since I didn't have to cook it.
I even ordered their house pineapple martini. Owe baby I've made a best friend; so sugary and tasty.

So then, we walked over to the movie theater and purchased our tickets to Wedding Crashers.
Cracked me right up. Personally, I'd vote Vince Vaughn for President.

On another note,
I've joined a gym in the area and am going to cool off and sculpt myself a tremendous body.
Yeah right. Good day.

+ posted by Special J at 11:18 AM


Sweet Rich Children of the Laguna Beach.

I believe MTV puts it best with it's description of my dream show: "Drama queens, surf kings, virgins and Don Juans...meet the cast who live to "hook up" and party by the beach." Don Juans.. don't even toy with me, MTV. Yes, loyal readers, last night, the show of all shows began filling up our TVs with pleasure every Monday night.

Can I just get something out? Kristin's side-kick that's just always "there" really reminds me of a horsey:
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Next, let's examine Dieter's eyebrows:
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What in God's name? Where were those puppies last season?

Ok, so seriously, here are probably the best parts of the show:

-Kristin: still a royal BIATCH. still talks like she has peanut butter stuck to the roof of her mouth.
Many more boob shirts added to the wardrobe. Hair: ultra greasy.

-Steven: Can he be any cuter. I seriously want to eat him.
One problem: I think Steven and I own the same pair of sunglasses.

-New blonde girl with $$: Um, she has a Christina Aguilara hairstylist? Come on.
I loved when kristin was talking about her nappy hair and how you can see her extentions when it rains.
Brian heard that and asked, "Wait? She has plugs?"

-Awkward forced couple reunions: Precious. "Meet me at Oakbranch Lookout."
And then they stand on rocks, an awkward 7 feet away from each other saying one word sentences.
Then Kristin goes to the Mall. How awesome.

Beard Boy that's dating Kristin's best friend (who looks like Jamie Lynn Spears):
YOU NEED A RAZOR BAD. Pencil line beards are in for NO ONE.

(which brings me to) Two Gay Boys in Batting Cage: Why were they constantly tickling each other?
In spiffy board shorts?

670$ Christian Dior Shoe Purchase: You've got to be kidding me. Can I be her sister?
I was freaking wearing shorts with an elastic wasteband in high school.

All in all, I love it. And then, as if life couldn't possible get any richer, MTV plants a big one on me. ANOTHER SEASON OF SWEET 16. I need oxygen. I can't believe it. Fantastic.

Gosh, morning posts really kill me. I'm gonna go make a cup of strong coffee.

+ posted by Special J at 8:14 AM


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Ah, I'm probably having like the second best day of my life right now.

Granted, this is good, because the last couple have really blowed bad.
I've been holding the fort down by myself and averaging about 2 hours of not-even sleep a night.
But today the wind is blowing in a different direction and I LOVE OMAHA.

People ask me if I'm lonely at home working with no co-workers, but I am just feeling so freaking fantastic because I feel like I have this great network of people who blog, who IM, who email and who write letters. It just feels like I'm always there, knowing what is going on. I just love it.
I feel MORE in tune since I've moved.

I've become horridly obsessed with my computer. Like it's almost illegal how obsessed I actually am. I've organized my bookmarks, set-up some new wallpaper, updated contacts. Being the man among mere mortals, Schraggy poo-poo has introduced me to a greater-than-sliced-bread invention: the Mozilla Firefox internet browser. I mean, picking skins and themes for your surfing pleasure? Just stop. You don't even know. I finally am able to view my gmail, which is just rocking non-stop. That was HUGE. Hey, I'm even toying with the idea of buying some iTunes. Cause I need to get my hands on that new Mariah song.
Don't ask, I just need it.

I spent a little time with an old friend yesterday. It was delicious. I needed my girl time and I got it. We talked and talked. And then I got Taco Bell @ 10pm, which is another good thing.
Go mild sauce, go mild sauce.

I'm super pumped about decorating. I have all these ideas. All these things I want. I'm going to paint and most importantly, I'm going to make this place HOME. I'm in the market for a new rug and sofa pillows, too. And wow, did you see the new stuff at the Barn? Seriously.

Over lunch just now, I went exploring. I drove pretty far away and found like, the cutest store of the year. It's called, "On a Whim". Cute cards, entertaining supplies, journals, magnets, dishes, jewelry.
I bought some choice cards that I plan on hanging up and also purchased these babies:
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I also found my dream address book. I've been searching for one and dudes, I've found it.
But it had a gouge on the front cover, so I hunting it down on Amazon.

Plus, then after the cute shop, I went over to my local Verizon Wireless store. You all know. People call my phone, I'm sitting right next to it, and it does not ring. Then, like the next day, it beeps and I have a trillion messages (maybe a slight exaggeration..let's say 8 messages). So Verizon updated me with the latest software, the helper dude was totally nice. He answered like a zillion phone questions I've been saving up to ask, and even hooked me up with this program that allows me to download ACTUAL RINGTONES THAT FEATURE PEOPLES VOICES. No more of this beep beep beep ringtone poo. I can be cool!
Plus, he informed me that in December, I'll have a $100 credit towards getting me a radical new phone.
And he showed me them. And I want one.

Then, my official wedding certif came in the mail! Tomorrow I'm changing everything! What a relief!
The Scottster will soon be complete.

So, stuff's just cool right now. I finally feel good about where I am.

+ posted by Special J at 1:32 PM


Move over, B. Crocker.

So this weekend was splendid. Brian and I went to KC for less than ten hours and totally designed our wedding album. It will school everyone else's album. Do you read me?
I got excited all over again basically drove that mini van back to Omaha on a cloud.

On Saturday night we capitalized on the 6 dollar large pizza and breadstick special at Lil' Ceasers. It was wrong not to. We finished Zissou. Excellent movie. Then I basically passed out into a heavy sleep until the next morning. On this day, we looked at puppies in the petstore, grocery shopped, and then endeavored the mightiest task we could ever behold on a Sunday. On this holiest of days, I attempted the grand task of baking a cake. I'm not talking about that little pansy in-a-rectangle pan crap. I'm taking double layer, frosting in the middle like your mama used to make. Why you ask? Was I feeling culinary? Hell no.
I needed room in the pantry and this cake would relieve a box and two cans of frosting worth of space.
So after a tasty grill dinner, I take off the kid gloves and punch the oven in the face:
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So there I am, freaking mixing and beating stuff with an actual hand mixer. I felt proud. I did drop one of our new stainless steel measuring cups on my toe, but that's beside the point; I bled cake. Our oven is special. Because the cake called for 32 minutes and it was completely brown at 26 minutes. So I took that baby out and let the two layers cool while Brian and I saw Willy Wonka at the local movie theater.

When we came back at 12:30am, it was time to frost. And frosted I did:
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Thank you Suzi Campbell for the best gift in the entire universe, the bent icing tool. The icing looked like I sprayed it on. I could have entered the contest and won the blue ribbon.
Here's what the sweet treat looked like after I was through with her:
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Sweet Meliss, that T is for you, babe. Then, even though it was a quarter to one a.m. and I used two cans of frosting, you bet me and Brian ate a piece of that cake:
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Yeah, so I really need to get a gym membership.

Tonight, Brian and me and Joe (Nick Cage) went to LaFonda's for dinner. I'm not kidding you.
"LaFonda is the best thing that has ever happened to me." So, we go and sit down, and after Joe orders some bean dip, glorified poop, we move into the drink category. We all order a house margarita and Bracey asks for our IDs. Fine. So she checks them over and goes to put in the order. Then, another mom-figure comes back and puts the drinks down at another table and says sternly, "Alright kids, let's see some IDs." And we were like, "Again?" and so we get them back out and she checks them through again like we were trying to pull a fast one on her. So we get them, and they taste like glass cleaner. Then bout two minutes after the enormous bean bowl, we got our food, aka, heart attack on a plate. And my chicken? It was red and it smelled bad. So basically, the three of us kept making toilet jokes in a place with no music playing, dead silence, and everyone is staring at us. And on Brian's second marg order, they carded him again. I give up. Greasy good times.

I'm gonna go have a slice of cake.

+ posted by Special J at 8:44 PM


"Let's Love Poetry, THURSDAY"

Rhyme time:
My back fat
is pushing through my shirt
like a fresh brown squirt
in the A.M.

I still like the TV,
this weekend's KC,
to see
Woodward, Misty.

I wish some Restoration Hardware furniture would fall out of the sky
and hit my thigh
and make me say 'oh my!'
But things can't be that great
like the June 4th date.

Laura Hall better blog
or I'll cut off Robert's log.
Just kidding of course,
you big-mouthed horse.
This rhyme really blows,
I hope it snows
In August.

Oh come on this day is long. And I haven't even opened the curtains yet in the office. Brian's back in my arms tonight (hahaha) and I'm going to do things like venture to Target for trashcans and hang expensive pictures tonight. Not to mention watch Queer Eye and INXS on DVR.
We still have a croc pot halfway wedged under the bed and it's starting to piss me off.

In closing,
a Haiku featuring my sister, Laura:
miss pink lights up life
not afraid to love clay aiken
oh my neck my back

(weirdest post since the dawn of time.)

+ posted by Special J at 2:30 PM


Hello there.
I actually feel like barfing. I've been in bed since a mere 4:30pm. With my eyes half closed and shivers that made me go under the covers, I've been watching every single E! and VH1 celebrity gossip show I can find. I think they are my new obsession. It's good to be Paris Hilton, Access Hollywood, MTV News, even the Entertainment blurb on CNN. Who am I? Plus I just watch half of the new 7th Heaven episode. Sammy had to visit the women's clinic to get advice on his classmate he just got pregnant.
And everyone was staring at him in the waiting room. OOOooohh.

Here's what I watched last night:
-The new Surreal Life: WOW. Loved it. This will definitely be involved in my Sunday nights. Plastic Janice Dickinson, a horny Balki, and a 3-legged pet circus dog? Count me in.

-Hogan Knows Best: Seriously, stop it. The Hulk asked this trashy 22 year old guy who wants to take out his 16 year old daughter "Have you had an AIDS test"? And after he finds out from his son that the guy has his nipples pierced, he screams out, "LINDA! DOES HE HAVE HIS SCROTUM PIERCED TOO?!" But alas, Brookie and her little hot shorts were allowed to go to Busch Gardens afterall.

-Celebrity Fit Club 2: Seriously. Gary Busey. I will put good money down that he is an alien. He's taking his team leadership role a tad too seriously. Kind of like the last two minutes of a tied high school basketball game. He pulls stuff out of who knows where. The show didn't exactly set my world on fire, but man will I watch it for whatever oddities come out of his mouth.

I know you guys have been waiting. Well wait no more. I've posted 'em.
Sweet Honeymoon of Love

This weekend was a great one. We cleaned and cleaned, and then after our hands had blisters, we cleaned some more. The house is really shaping up. We also closed our Pottery Barn registry, thus purchasing the rest of our silverware, a couple snack bowls, and I even scored the cutest air-tight coffee container, against Brian's will. We also bought the rest of our towels at Bed Bath and some bathroom rugs. And lets not forget my baby, a new tall cabinet from Z Gallerie. It's the most. I may have accidentally signed up for their credit card as well. It'll be delivered in August, whereas I will probably be giddy. We also grilled and did some cooking, watched a little Zissou, and mostly loved each other.

+ posted by Special J at 7:42 PM


My sides hurt after reading this:
Rainbow Party
(Thanks Amanda for this blessing of a site.)

The deal is, today is rather boring. I laid out another issue of the magazine and went to the Omaha mall today to look for a new wallet. No such luck. I want one that zips up all the way around, yet, doesn't get too thick. So, let me know if you see one.

You're right, JonesColeman, Coke zero is all that and a bag of chips.
So is the Garden Veggie Sandwhich at Panera. Court, our favorite is back...just add turkey!

I promise I'll work on honeymoon pictures this weekend, dear fans. Please also remember that the new Surreal Life starts Sunday and that Vince Vaughn will be hosting SNL on Saturday night.
God, I need a life and thinner thighs.

+ posted by Special J at 3:51 PM


"So why'd you come home
to this faithless town
Where we make a lifetime commitment
to recovering the satellites
and all anybody really wants to know is...
when are you gonna come down."

So, last night Brian took me out on our first official Wednesday movie night party day. We went to the local theater, where we bought our student-priced tickets. I think our luck is running out there though. Because even though we had the special student sticker (not expiring until 8/05), the gal still asked to see our student ids, to which, I pull these broken in half and dirtied plastic IDs showing what looks like a 4 year old Brian and a pre-puberty Jenn. I think I still have braces in the picture. Not to mention I casually slid the IDs through the window with my bling wedding ring right there for her to see.
Who's kidding who here. Time is running out for the Scott's $6.50 movie ticket.

So we went to see War of the Worlds. Good God almighty. Combined with the fact that I consistantly believe people are hiding in my closet and that you can tell me anything and I'll think you're dead serious, this movie scared the crap out of me. At first, i saw the little alien pod thing emerge from the ground and thought, "Man, that doesn't really look as real as I figured Spielberg would make it. Kind of a let down." Well, give that thought about 5 minutes and I was basically one in the same with T. Cruise:
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And just when you think it couldn't get any worse, I begin balling uncontrollably at the parts where he might lose a family member or when he has to choose between letting his estranged son go over the hill and fight for the US Army or come face to face with the electric tenticles of a space alien. And when his wide-eyed daughter is staring at a river hauling dead bodies into a crusty pile of blood-red alien veins,
I am crying.

Plus, this movie really gets you thinking that something like this could actually happen, maybe. It gets you thinking, anyway. And then you see Tim Robbins in the movie and it kind of snaps you back out of aliensville and makes you chuckle that they cast him. Oh, and this movie also teaches you to appreciate your family and how to throw a peanut butter sandwhich at the window and make it stick.

This weekend I am going to this apartment/shoe box hard. I can't put away clean clothes because when I try to hang them up it's like wedging a book onto a completely full bookshelf. And where in God's name do I put this china? We need to buy another apartment, just for storage sake. And I don't know about you people, but it's driving me mad not having matching bedroom furniture. Brian's furniture collection was nice in 6th grade, but not when I'm Susie Homemaker. So we'll see.

Tonight, I continue where I left off in Kansas with my Felicity DVD super-marathon.

+ posted by Special J at 9:37 AM


A Baby Lambert is in our future!

I will start out this incredible post first, with a congratulations to team catchphrase, Amy and Stephen.
I believe Jim Carrey said it best in Cableman (during the trippy karaoke scene):
"There was a baby born on the left side of the party ladies and gentleman."
And baby born there will be.
Way to go you baby-makers! I can't wait for the little one!

In other news, I just flew in from St. Louis and boy are my arms tired. It was a lovely weekend as usual. On Saturday we went down to the VP Fair and saw the Black Eyed Peas, stood in some liquid next to the porta-potties while waiting to go through security, went to a superb party at Jenny Scott's house, ate Ted Drewe's ice cream, shopped, slept, watched Be Cool, and won the title for world's hugest eater.

Here are the highlights:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com "Old Man Rocker"

Image hosted by Photobucket.com "Gimme some Ice Cream or I'll slit your throat"

Image hosted by Photobucket.com "Boat House Lunch"

Image hosted by Photobucket.com "awes."

Image hosted by Photobucket.com "One Month from Yesterday"

So this week I'm ready to go at it. I've shipped the magazine, things aren't so stressfully-seeming,
and I'm got the drive. Here is what I see every single day:
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Well, kiss it goodbye people. Because the house will be clean, letters will be written, clothes will be washed and money will be deposited. Heck, today I've already done 5 loads of laundry, cleaned the dishes, went to the bank, and the dry cleaners. Stuff is gonna be good around here.

Also, I think I might make Sonja's chilli tonight. And I've become a blood-sucking money-saving whore so that I will someday soon be able to purchase the entire collection.

K. Over and out here. Have great days.

+ posted by Special J at 10:17 AM