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Stephanie*
Sweet Meliss*
Suffix Abuse*
Kristina Contes*
Stilley Stuff*
Dooce*
Laura*
Cookies For Breakfast*
Nie Nie Dialogues*
Rachel*
Anchored Nomad*

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doodies
the runs
jorma taccone
f my life
delights
the found magazine
do you have the time?

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Can't you hear me?
Cause I'm screamin'.

Did not go outside.
Yesterday.

Don't wake me, please.
Don't wake me.
I was dreamin'.

Well I might just stay inside again
Today.
Well I don't go out much these days.

Sometimes I stay inside all day.
Leave me
leave me
leave me
leave me
Alone.
Won't you leave me alone.
Don't you leave me alone.

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ghetto google
look at a book
brandon flowers
sex & the city quotations
best trailer, worst movie.
quotations.
idiot girls club
Get high on JESUS

When they say "Don’t I know you?"
Say no.
When they invite you to the party
Remember what parties are like
Before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
They once wrote a poem.
Then reply.
If they say we should get together.
Say why?
It’s not that you don’t love them any more.
You’re trying to remember something
Too important to forget.
Trees.
The church bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.
When someone recognizes you in a grocery store,
Nod briefly
and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven’t seen
In ten years
Appears at the door,
Don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

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This is a new garden over old flowers.
Wish that one day they'd figure out
how to shrink stars
and i could keep one in my bedroom.
And wish that me and him could grow old together.
And wish
that in my next life I come back as a tiger.
These are fun wishes.
In about seven minutes you can start.
'Til then, you'll just listen to the radio
from seat's edge.
As if then it's the look on your face.
As if, as if then you'll matter,
And then I can't wait.
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and never the two shall meet
said the tiger to its greatest fan.
the amount of love
you wish to give
is more than i can stand.

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Counters

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*blogger, for my life hobby*
*haloscan, so no one can comment*
*Schrags, my html GOD*

11/30/2007

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Dang, tonight is the last night of NaBloPoMo. Wasn't I in 5th grade yesterday? Man, times flies by. I'm gonna see how I do about keeping this regular posting up. It's really been nice for me, I think. I like to write, I just gotta have stuff happen to me, which is pretty hard when sometimes you don't leave the house for an entire week.
But try I will because it's nice to keep up with things.

I had a nice day today. Got a lot of work stuff sorted out because I'm going to KC next week to ship the magazine. Then, being the stud that I am, I attended 2 back-to-back jazzercise classes, which, I probably wouldn't recommend unless you are Arnold Schwarzenegger back when he was Mr. Universe. I'm trying to acquire the free T-Shirt after so many classes, so I had to up my game. Let's just say it's only been like 4 hours and I can't lift my legs.
Is that because they're dipped in concrete?

After that small feat, I came home to our house. With Christmas lights. That Brian put up with an actual extension ladder. I don't mean to toot our own horn, but they look perfect. They're the big colorful bulbs and he lined the whole house. Even the peaks of the roof. He did such a good job even thought I kind of thought I'd come home and find him paralyzed on the lawn from a severe ladder accident.

To celebrate, we went out to The Cheesecake Factory where I just face-planted into a humongous Mexican salad. Of course, cheesecake to go. Honestly, I wish their raspberry lemonade flowed like a river into my mouth. Permanently.

Tomorrow is the big day. December 1st. I've planned a morning of homemade cinnamon rolls and peppermint white mochas followed by endless Christmas decorating. Plus, we're supposed to have a huge ice storm blizzard, so we'll be all cozy inside until we venture out on the roads of death to purchase a real tree.

Oh! Also, I've been talking with this Omaha artist I met through Etsy today.
I purchased these after I asked her to make them into 5x7 prints to hang at Christmas:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7962930
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7962840


Then she blows my mind and tells me that there is heaven on earth:
http://www.omahacraftmafia.com

So on Sunday I found out about this huge craft fair open house thing that is nestled here in the farmlands of Nebraska. I'm going to go check it out and pick up my prints!

Alright. Time to go. Brian's downstairs watching repeated episodes of CSI Miami and that has to stop.

+ posted by Special J at 11:14 PM
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11/29/2007

I am finding that although I have the whole day to post, I am posting every single day in between the hours of 11:30pm and 11:45pm. But that's when some of my best stuff comes out.

Not a lot to report today, dear friends. Turned in the heart monitor. I let Brian rip off all the suction cup things that I instantly found out were super-glued to my boobies. I'm pretty sure they got a skin sample back with their equipment.

Aparently we are supposed to get a large blizzard here this weekend and that gets me all excited. We're turning our house into a Christmas MAYHEM this weekend. Brian will be putting up the outside lights before the snow falls, we'll sip gently, cups of peppermint starbucks, and go to purchase the real tree with real tree smell. My favorite time of year, hands down. We're also going to be ordering the new Pizza Hut deep dish pizza because it looks so tasty on the commercials.

Alright. I'm gonna go shower the suction cup juice off.
I'll leave you with my good friend "Toast" :

Kent "Toast" French, The World's Fastest Clapper

+ posted by Special J at 10:53 PM
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11/28/2007

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Well today I had the ol' sonnagram on the heart. Actually I'm thinking about getting another one done.
It was a nice dimly lit room with a double bed that was real soft and then the lady touched my boob.

It was kind of freaky to hear the blood rushing through my own heart, blasted at the volume of whatever triple-surround-sound system they had plugged into the room. So there I was laying out on the bed with my breasties exposed, talking to the nurse about how sometimes you can find some really quality home decorating items at Wal-Mart. But she hardly looked, she was so nice and modest. Probably because the sheer size of my beasts would have made her tip over in her chair.

Well I got that finished up and then she informed me they would be administering me with a 24-hour heart monitor. Woah. Totally forgot that part. What a treat. So some other nurse, that smelled like she just cut the bottom off a pack of cigarettes and just lit that while smoking the other end, came in. She wasn't very nice, but put about 12 circle stickers on my chest, each connecting to a thick wire that then connected to another large massive wire, and in turn, into an electronic device that was about the size of a macaroni and cheese box, but the weight of a completely full backpack. Oh but don't worry, it came with a nice thin strap so that I could wear it all over one shoulder. That's so in right now.

So I asked her if I should jazzercise tonight or not and she said I can't shower with this thing on. Boy wouldn't that be sexy. Electrocuting myself in the shower. But since my near death heart experience happens only while exercising, she said I should definitely go. So, just picture me at jazzercise wearing about 4 over-sized Tshirts so you couldn't tell that I have a mechanical device monitoring my heart, slinged off to the side like a god damn messenger bag. The jazzer teacher kept looking at me from the stage thinking I was either going to sweat to death with that many shirts on or that I was secretly going to blow up her facility with something under my shirt.

Don't ask me how I did those grapevines or high knee kicks because that freaking machine kept sliding across my chest or whacking me in the hip, or those stickers were tugging at my little baby hairs. But complete that class I did. Now lets see how sleeping on my side goes tonight.

Don't worry about me, seriously though. I like to have stuff checked out and knowing my luck, I'm going waste one day of my life hooked up to an awkward monitor, only to find that I'm as healthy as a horse. Which is fine by me.
Also, the lady that drove the hospital shuttle bus said that I was a very sweet girl.

+ posted by Special J at 10:01 PM
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11/27/2007

I know it's shocking, but I'm kind of thinking I'm going to go to bed now. As in, I will go to bed at 9pm. This is unheard of, I know, but I feel like poo. This may or may not be because I just ate an entire pound-size bag of special edition mint M&Ms.

Actually, Brian wasn't home last night and that meant I had to stay up until 2:30am listening to every noice and plan how I would escape my locked bedroom, should a murderer suddenly come in.

I also need to have a really productive day at work tomorrow. Then as a treat, I'm having a 2pm sonogram on my heart! As I told Meliss, I will become suddenly close with a stranger as they administer clear gel all over my boob and rub it around with some sort of instrument. Looking forward to that one.

So the treat of this blog post will be my Thanksgiving Flickr set.
Be sure to keep checking back as I will be updating it with witty captions.

Laura, way to get all sexual on Mom.
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I'm also thinking of joining this: The Cloud Appreciation Society

Alright. Let's call it a night.

Laura, this one's for you.

+ posted by Special J at 8:52 PM
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11/26/2007

I've been searching through all of the crafty calendars on the internet and think I've finally decided on two:

2008 Magnolia Moonlight Wall Calendar
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2008 Happify Calendar
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Next order of business... Miss Mary has tagged me to share five short things about myself. Here they are.
Feast your eyes on these:

1.) I've never seen the Christmas Story movie, Billy Madison or The Goonies. I know you think I'm weird.
2.) I wish I had smaller boobs. I'd get a reduction if it didn't involve severe pain and Brian crying for the first time.
3.) I got the chicken pox at the same time as my two other sisters. And at the same time that sister number 3 was born. My Mom had to stay quarantined upstairs and we couldn't see her or the new baby for about 3 months because she could have died.
4.) My Grampa Ring had two belly buttons. This has been confirmed by Mom and Gramma.
5.) In middle school, I used to have an unexplainable and unhealthy obsession with Jim Carrey and the Green Bay Packers. I also can't sleep with any closet doors open.

I tag Meliss, Steph JC, Laura Bora, Jess, and I have no other internet friends.
Some can't be linked because they have super-secret sites.

More tomorrow. I had the perfect Chipolte burrito tonight and now I'm on my 94th glass of water. Also, I'm fat.

+ posted by Special J at 11:46 PM
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11/25/2007

Wow. Let me straight up apologize for that last blog entry.

Let's just say Montie tested the limits of rum and Coke. And also, I have about 5 videos of him from last night that, if released, could make him less of a man. Let's get this blog back to internet obsession, crafty things, and funny family stories.

Well, today was kind of a wash minus the delicious Sonic breakfast that we had around 11am. They make a mean breakfast burrito, which is my current obsession. Put anything in a warm burrito and you have my heart. Then, we were planning on driving home, but my Mom's internet went down and she needed Brian's computer wisdom. So he worked that out while I took a nap on the sofa for two hours. Then we were back on the long road home. Where I slept more and ate a pack of nerds, my favorite road trip candy.

I really had an incredible break. Full of fun shopping, Joey, sister time, large amounts of food, and even a little snow thrown in. It was just what I needed. I'm not gonna lie, I could definitely just use one more day to get organized. I'm not Brian. I don't come home and immediately unpack, put away and clean everything. My suitcase will sit there for a good week before I touch it. But I'm super pumped to be feeling better, get back in the swing of things and totally organize myself for December. I can't wait to put up all the Christmas decorations and start my shopping. I'm sad Brian is going out of town a lot in the upcoming weeks, but I'll be jazzing it up in the evenings and staying up late to watch TV.

This post totally blows, so I'll come at it strong this last week of daily posting. I'll post my five things Mary, I promise! Shout out to Laura Bora. Hope you all had a wonderful break and will have a nice upcoming week!
The movie, Borat, is horrible.

+ posted by Special J at 9:34 PM
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11/24/2007

sick. gross. can I just express to you how much I hate missouri. Like I would rather lick my own barf than have them win again. We, as Kansas, lost tonight. It was gross. We didn't even show up. No one believes in us because we lost to the worst team possible, Missouri. I am so upset and can't even believe we didnt' play for about 4 hours.
Here, to express my pain, is Mr. Montie Holtz, himself:

"lets talk about a herd a buffalos stomping me into gay submission. my ass is raw, buffalo raw g's. if you have a kid your vag is forever young, i wanna be forever young....the other day i shit a tree stump, for real. it hurt like a midget shitting a watermelon. thats what ku is to me tonight, a midge shitting a tree. un..... i try to be a man, but i'm not, my beotch is catholic, for shizzel. whats the hardest part about rollerblading....telling your parents your GAY.... i hate my life, F MIZZOU, die you commie pinko bastards. holla at your boy, guest blog for life, lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about you and me....

tell your mom i said thanks.........my ass feels like a zeplin went off in it... a big terd that is jewish with shards, and my wife is farting balls right now, i married a farter, for real. who does that? if you mess up in the woods is your wife there to tell you you are wrong? brian just said it smelled like ass....love you."


Montie ended that one on point. Me and Liz decided tonight that in one year, we will each have a baby that will marry each other. Can't wait for that. I will have the girl, Liz will have the healthy boy.

I will kill anyone that roots for dirty Missouri.

+ posted by Special J at 10:47 PM
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11/23/2007

Today was kind of a rough day.

I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to go with Laura and Joey to get his first hair cut. It was a huge success and they even trimmed the long two pee pee hairs. In between dropping him off and picking him up, Laura and I drove cross country to visit the Urban Arts and Crafts store, courtesy of Rachel Lamble Johnson. Shout out! Thanks a million, Rachel! I basically walked through the doors and died and went to heaven. They revived me with smelling salts and I just went on a major rampage throughout the store. Please promise me if you guys are in the Kansas City area, to visit this shop. I came away with a large scrapbook binder, an old flashcard that read "she saw a mouse" and a shitload of Amy Butler Fabric. Pictures will follow, but I plan to frame them somehow in our chocolate brown guest room. And you will lick them.

So we picked Joe up and went home to round up the girls. We hit town center hard and I picked up some Christmas pillow covers at Pottery Barn and a table cloth and glass christmas tree from Crate and Barrel. Amen.

After a little fam dinner time at Zios where I chose the meatballs, we headed back for the event of tonight. Ever since I saw that movie "Into the Wild" I've been obsessed with the thought of exploring the wilderness and camping and this guy's journey through Alaska. Well, after discussing this all with my dad over and over again, he finally got out his SLIDES from the two different college summers he spent in Northern Alaska. Both times, him and one other of his best friends would just take off for like 3 months and drive from Chicago to Alaska. They would camp on the side of the road, boat in kyacks down the Yukon River and the sleep in a sandbank in the middle of the rapids, and then catch a ride back one at a time with the guy who delivered the mail once every week in his 2-seater water plane.

Seriously, hearing these stories from my Dad and being able to see these slides were just about the most amazing things. I love my Dad's stories. He saw grizzly's, wore this cowboy hat that was too small for his head, flashed the peace sign, and wandered through abandoned Alaskan towns. Seriously, I can't believe they would just drive or hitchike, or kyack with no sense of direction or calling my Gramma, or money. One time, they wandered into such powerful and chilling rapids that their raft crashed and they all were forced to hold onto boulders while they lost the feeling in their legs because of the water temperature. Then, my Dad's best friend just said, "I'm letting go" and just fell back into the rapids. My Dad grabbed his life vest and then some random man happened to see them from a trail upshore and fished them into shore with some rope he had.

My Dad is so incredible. And I want to see that movie again and go camping.
Anyone want to go to Montana?

+ posted by Special J at 11:39 PM
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11/22/2007

Happy, Happy Turkey Day from KC!

I finally slept really good last night. Feeling much better, thanks to the horse pills. Woke up and watched the Macy's parade with the whole fam. It was really nice. Especially that interview with Lance Bass. Played with Laura's dog for a bit. Ran him up and down the yard and then almost got my foot caught in the extenda leash and then when I tried to correct myself I just about kicked the dog in the head. It was a really good morning.

Right before we ate, we took family pictures. That's always a treat because Kristin's bangs suddenly develop a life of their own, Mom is pressing the button on the camera timer and then literally sprinting and throwing herself back onto the couch, Laura's doing a really nice fart noise with her hands and face, and I'm usually so far behind that my hair is wet and I don't have any make-up on and I'm pissed.

I can't show pictures on this blog because my mom's computer isn't exactly the best thing since sliced bread.
I'll be sure to make a Flickr album when I get back to the Matrix computer-land of Omaha, Nebraska.

Mom made the best meal ever in history. I, naturally smothered it in gravy and salt. It was just perfect. And we even went around the table and said what we were all thankful for. I'd just like to take a moment and list mine. I'm thankful for the people that are serving our country and fight to help keep us all so safe and free. I am thankful for my Mom and Dad who take such good care of me and have raised me in a loving and informative home. Also for Brian's parents because I am lucky to now have a second Mom and Dad. I'm thankful for my sisters who are just my best friends. I really love how we all share this tight bond. I'm thankful very much for Brian and his love and the fun times we have every single day. For our house and our good jobs and our health. Also thankful for my dear friends. They are my friends whether we talk once a month or once a year. And I have some of the best. Finally thankful for the strength that my Aunt Barb has been given to fight her breast cancer and keep a hopeful spirit.
Lots of good reasons to feel blessed about today.

After a slight food coma, Laura, Bri, Steph and me went down to the Plaza to see them turn on the lights. No matter how much every one calls me a homo, I still love to do this every year when I'm back home.
I took some great pictures and even tripped on a curb and totally went face first into some lady's butt.

I hope you all had a lot of corn today and maybe saw a balloon or two float across your TV. Tomorrow, SHOP TILL I DROP and little Joey gets a snip clip. And I'll try to fight off the urge to see the movie Beowulf.

+ posted by Special J at 9:05 PM
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11/21/2007

Oh my where do I start..

I woke up unrarely early this morning. Played with my favorite dog and then got an urgent call from Kris saying we should eat with her at the hospital where she works. So we grab Bagel and Bagel (with an extra one for the road) and make our way downtown. I'm not gonna lie, it was a little sketch.

Aside from the fact that Brian was pissed because his food was no longer going to be hot, we ventured into the hospital. We parked in the "Red Rocket" lot. That's a hilarious parking lot name if I've ever heard one. Kris came to sign us in and up we went. Children's Mercy was a great-looking hospital with plenty of kid-friendly parts and things. Kris took us up to her floor and that's when my life changed forever. I met Shay. Shae? Che? Schay? It doesn't matter because I love her. Probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. She works with Kris and I basically want to be her best friend forever. So hello if she's reading! I'm going to become a nurse.

Then we made a mad dash to the Curious Sofa store where Laura became pissed because she hates to see me happy. Just kidding but not really. I made a clutch purchase and off we went. Mom made lasangna tonight and I gained another 60 pounds. Laura and I also went for a 6 hour bra shopping excursion. Let's just say we took some illegal X-rated dressing room shots that I'm not proud of. Also it snowed today and that's a beautiful thing. Then I listened to my dad tell his Alaskan adventure stories for about 3 hours on the couch and now I'm even prouder to call him my father.

Let's talk tomorrow. Kisses!

+ posted by Special J at 11:45 PM
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11/20/2007

Well we made it to OP safe and sound.

I immediatley watched an hour long television documentary with Dad about how American gold coins are made.
Just another night at the Hall household. How did Brian get so lucky..

Last night was about the fifth night in a row where all I did was toss and turn and cough and die a silent death in bed. I was really excited for today, though, because it was finally my chance to see the doctor. I was more excited than Christmas morning. I didn't even wear make-up, as to accentuate the horrible sickness I was enduring.
It worked. Antiobiotic horse pills are now in my possession.

I love my Omaha doctor. He always shakes my hand and will literally just sit down and listen until I am done talking. He seems concerned at the right moments and always assures me that he is invested in fixing the problem.
That kind of stuff is really important to me.

I originally made this appointment to check out some long time neck and heart problems. In short, on random days during the month I will wake up and feel like someone has picked me up by my head during the night and swung me around for five hours. As for my heart, ever since middle school I've had some pretty regular occasions where my heart will just take off to the races and I literally feel like I'm probably gonna be a goner.

So, I told the doctor about all that goodness and two minutes later I've getting massive amounts of blood drawn, participating in an EKG with my boobies all hanging out, and also taking many neck X-Rays.
Oh. And I have a heart murmur.

None of this stuff means anything right now, but they are running some tests and going to hook me up to a heart monitor for a few days. Don't worry folks, I'm not going anywhere. I've got too much shopping to do.

I kind of just want to chug the entire bottle of antibiotics because I'm so over this nasty sinus infection.
Can't wait to be better and can't wait for Sue Hall's Thanksgiving Pea Cups.

+ posted by Special J at 11:23 PM
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11/19/2007

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WOW. I'll give you ten guesses as to who is the world's most un-popular male tonight. WHAT A DICK. God, not only did he let both girls down, he let me and the rest of America's viewers down. Sweet. Be all lovey-dovey Brad and kiss them and tell them they are the girl that he always imagined his life being shared with. Never mind that Jenny wore a light blue bath towel up the long path to receive her final rose. But then stupid Greek DeeDee walked up there and you told her you said goodbye to Jenny, she lit up like a Christmas tree, and then... then... you told her to hold on one second why you took a fast-paced 10 minute walk around the lawn? Bold move. Then you dump her, too. And I thought, maybe, you're going to say you're really gay and then give the rose to Chris Harrison. But we all weren't that lucky. God, I just watch this show so that maybe someone will actually marry the person they met on TV. Each new season there is actually a chance. And you slammed that dream like the little bar-whore you're probably with right now in Texas.

+ posted by Special J at 10:20 PM
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11/18/2007

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God I'm really going to the vault here on this one. Just spending some time in my office and going through the box I keep with all of my memories of Brian. The above was drawn out one night in college, probably after 2am. Brian drew this up, made me sign it, and made sure I noticed how he wrote the contract number like they do in law school.
But my favorite part, if you notice, is how it was notarized by "ROD TODD".

Brian's been taking good care of my this weekend. I'm still kind of feeling like ass. This was realized after I attempted to go to Jazzercise today. I think I was so determined to get out of the house for once this weekend. Well, bad idea because I almost fainted. I was sweating way too much for only the warm up song. And I was coughing like I was smoking Marlboro Reds during the heel-ball-changes.

I'm a little sad because by today, literally every single person in our neighborhood has decked their house out for Christmas. What happened to Thanksgiving? Now we look like the scrooges. I'm making Brian borrow an extension ladder from the neighbors this year. We need more lights if we're going to keep up with the 12 houses that have trimmed every inch of their roof in solid red lights. Still not quite sure if that's in honor of the devil or Nebraska.
Same thing, I guess.

Oh, and today we watching the Transformers movie for 9 straight hours, because that's how long it is. It was 9 straight hours of watching all these mechanical parts wave around real quick in front of your eyes or a sweaty Tyreese in a red beret with no shirt on. Neither really made my day.

Well, it's 11:30pm and I slept in today until 1pm. That's gonna really screw me up. I'm wide awake.
Maybe Brian will ask me again tonight to stop coughing. Like I'm doing this to get my jollies.
Thank the Baby J that today is a two-day week.

As Mom's pj's would say: Goodnight, Goodnight, Goodnight!

+ posted by Special J at 11:22 PM
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11/17/2007

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Oh man, today is the day where I really don't feel like blogging. I've never really been good at fighting off my own colds. I'm the girl who immediately books a doctor appointment at the first onslaught of a cold. I'm a lot better and now have a little of my voice back. But I'm still hot all the time and just feel so blah. Those antibiotics are calling my name, but the doctor can't get me in until Tuesday.

So because I was a phlegm factory, Brian said he could babysit the kids next door. I had told my neighbor last week I would do the job and then decided it probably wouldn't be a good idea to breathe on her sweet children.

I kinda couldn't wait to see how it went because Brian has always gotten a little nervous around the little ones. He tries to talk to them like they're 35 years old and wonders why they can't put themselves to bed or why they don't come with an instruction manual that tells the right and the wrong way to every single action they might take.

I kept checking in with him via text until he finally called me. Apparently everything was going awesome.
After we hung up, the phone rang again. It was Brian. The convo went something like this:

B: "Can you come over here and help me with Olivia's diaper?"
Me: "Can't you just change it?"
B: "No I would really like it if you could come over here and help me."


Which, was Spanish for get over here faster than the speed of sound. So I grabbed my jacked and made my way over there. I walked in, spotted the babe, and immediately the enormous trail of poop that was coming out of her diaper and up her back. And it was green. So, thanks Brian. But, being the lady I was, I cleaned her right up, and dressed her bro in his jams. I also handed Brian the dirty diaper to throw away while I was finishing up and he literally grabbed the side where the poo was oozing out. Smooth move, Bri. Totally sick.

I was out and it seriously warmed my heart to see how good Brian was with those kids.
Just looks like I'll be the one on permanent doo duty when we have children in 80 years.

+ posted by Special J at 11:14 PM
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11/16/2007

The Fam.


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Just made JV Basketball team. Good listener. Used to have imaginary friend named Glardy.
Has a strong grip if she's mad at you. Drives a red truck. Youngest. Owns good clothes. Makes homemade cards. Loyal.
Best dancer in the family. Helpful.

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Best mother in the universe. Wore gold Egyptian Jesus sandals to my wedding. Always makes dessert.
Gets her Christmas shopping done in May. Good hugger. Laughs so hard a little tinkle may have come out. Smells good.
Has a little poof. Always waves goodbye in the driveway. Tells me I should always wear a long nightgown to bed.

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Talks me down off the ledge. Motherly. Mostly hilarious. Worked at the zoo. Does not particularly enjoy hugging. Always calls everyone. Doesn't believe in cleaning bathroom sinks. Brave. Cooks like it's her job. Does knee slides.

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Most perfect Dad. A teacher. Drinks 6 Mountain Dews a night. Storyteller. Been to every state in the Union. Helper. Softball coach. Plants flowers and hangs Christmas lights. Speech-giver. Outstanding Salesman. Loves his girls.

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Intelligent. Head-first slider. Very mature. Loves the color red. Works out even when we're on vacation. So strong. Likes Whitney Houston. Has handwriting like a boy. Motivating. Most successful in the boy department.
Pronounces it PEE-CAN.

I have a beautiful family.
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+ posted by Special J at 10:19 PM
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11/15/2007



Well, as you can tell, today has been kind of a crappy day. I woke up feeling like butt and had basically lost my voice. I always think it's kind of cool to lose my voice at first, but by noon it kind of started scaring me because it literally hurt to talk.

Today I also got to experience the pleasure of a few more hours of computer HELL. I swear they are trying to make me jump out the window. Like right now I'm waiting for a folder to copy over. Only 237 minutes left!

Brian's downstairs playing his dad and Robert on XBox. When this happens, Brian turns into a different person. Like I'm trying to ask him a question about the dishwasher and he's over on the sofa with his gay headset on communicating to his army and giving them the command to kill when I hear him scream, ROBERT GET OFF THE DAMN TANK WE CAN'T THROW MISSILES FROM THAT OBVIOUS OF A LOCATION as various teenagers, also online in the game, are using racial slurs. Eww. I don't like it. So that's why I've been upstairs watching every single episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8!

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Oh I'm sorry, you didn't like seeing that pregnant picture?

Well BAM. Take this one!

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Jesus.
This is what happens when you've got the shakes, sweaty, coughing up a lung and then google "very pregnant".

No but seriously, this show is awesome. The Mom is nuts and the Dad just takes it. Everyone is always crying and yet they still do crazy things like visit Chocolate World and try to get the kids to sit in a dentists chair.

I'm sorry, apparently the Dallas Cheerleader Tryouts show is completed, so I have to find something else to watch. Maybe I should just go ahead and quit while I'm ahead in this post. All I can say is bless the Lord that it will be Friday tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to going home and seeing my family. And Joey. And that bowl of inside-the-turkey stuffing at around 2pm on Thursday.

+ posted by Special J at 8:29 PM
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11/14/2007

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"Two years he walks the earth.
No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. Ultimate freedom. An extremist. An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shalt not return, 'cause "the West is the best." And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. Ten days and nights of freight trains and hitchhiking bring him to the Great White North. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild."


I am speechless. Tonight I went out for Sushi at Blue with some new friends. I actually ate raw tuna, so I got that going for me. But the bigger part of the night is that we then went to see the movie, Into The Wild. I can't even express to you how incredible this movie is. It is by far, the best movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Every word was absolutely thoughtful and perfect. The filming was breath-taking and every character perfectly casted. It was deep. It showed dong, a moose-beheading, and was directed and written by Sean Penn. Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam did the entire soundtrack. It's a true story. It showcases the Alaskan wilderness. It was full of parts that made me want to write down every word in the 3 and a half hour movie. If you appreciate nature, thinking, and a good story, please go and see this movie. Absolutely brilliant.

There's no more to say. It's almost midnight and I'm so sick. Goodnight.

+ posted by Special J at 11:35 PM
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11/13/2007

Good God. Half of that pumpkin loaf is in my stomach. I think I cut about 90 pieces off it today.
How am I ever going to fit into a bikini now?

Well today was pretty uneventful. I took my first shower since Saturday and went to Jazzercise where I was sandwiched in between the lady who always comes to class 15 minutes late and uncomfortably stands right on your heels and the lady who secretly tried to catch glimpses of herself in the widow and then really tried to amp up her movements. Honestly, her pelvic tilts were higher than her head. And that isn't right.

Might I mention that I am now the proud new owner of this coat:
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Yep, Brian and I made the big purchase on Sunday. God talk about heaven in the form of a coat. It's hands-down the best one I've ever bought. You will notice the sweet fur around the hood. God I'm gonna look so Emo.
Just like my sweet Daryl Palumbo:
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Well.. I'm gonna go watch a couple of episodes of America's Next Top Model and probably talk on the phone with Laura until 2am. Girls Night tomorrow and then sweet Bri will be in my arms again.

In closing, lets have a look at Marbles. You like the taco dish.


Nighty night!

+ posted by Special J at 9:54 PM
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11/12/2007

Jenn's Top 10 Things That Make Her Happy Today:


1.) Yvestown Blog (www.yvestown.com)
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2.) I totally made 2 loaves of pumpkin chocolate ship bread tonight at 11pm.
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3.) Hot Chicks With Douchebags (www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com)
I owe this discovery all to my friend Matty S. It's probably the greatest website in the known universe.
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"I'm having a hard time classifying the douche-face on Cuisinart Carl here.

Are those kissy lips? Or a vaguer and harder to classify stage of douche-mouth? And does that expression make me want to smack him in the face with a dead frog in a sock, or a pile of camel poo in a plastic bag?

And would it be wrong of me to woo Princess Red with giftwrapped Twinkies and hiding out by her bathroom window at 2am after spelling out "I want to lick your shoes" in flaming bales of hay in the nearby cornfield?"


4.) New hallway print from Target:
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5.) The Duggars (www.duggarfamily.com)
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6.) Adorable flight bag that I need to own:
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7.) Jimmy Eat World's Clarity Lyrics

"The first star I see may not be a star.
We can't do a thing but wait.
So let's wait for one more.
The time such clumsy time in deciding if it's time.
I'm careful but not sure how it goes.
You can loose yourself in your courage.
The mindless comfort grows when I'm alone with my 'great' plans.
This is what she says gets her through it:
"If I don't let myself by happy now then when?"
If not now when?
When the time we have now ends.
When the big hand goes round again.
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?"


8.) Threadless T's (www.threadless.com)
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9.) Sarah Bowen's Typepad Journal, but most of all, her song playlist. (http://sarahbowen.typepad.com/pieceofwork)
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10.) Wee Planets flickr set (http://www.flickr.com/photos/gadl/sets/72157594279945875/)
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+ posted by Special J at 11:34 PM
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11/11/2007

It's just me and my string cheese stick here at 10:53 pm, no biggie.

Today was a nice day. Even though Brian woke me up out of my dream at 11am. I was dreaming that I was at the store, about to purchase those guage earrings that would make my ear lobes have about a 4 foot wide hole. Someone was telling me not to do it and I was getting mad because I really wanted to and the biggest decision I had left was whether to do the gray or the black. Anyway, then Bri woke me up because we had a hot date with some friends at LePeep. My neck is still in severe pain, but nothing a mini denver and some coffee couldn't fix.

Then afterwards we hiked it on over to Dan's house to see his new MAC. I immediately peed my pants upon seeing it, soaked through my jeans, through the cushion on his desk chair, through his carpet, thus causing a severe leak in the ceiling of his basement. Probably permanent. Dear God it was everything I wanted in a computer. I've informed Brian that it's all I need in life. I am on the computer every waking moment. And I should have a right to view it on a 24 inch screen of beauty.

After all that and spending a little couch time with the Bri-man, I went over next door and watched the two kidlets while Lindsey went to her local grocer. I made a sweet little blanket fort and was immediately crowned best babysitter in the universe. I even scored a recipe for chocolate chip pumpkin bread.

Tonight I went back over to the neighbors to watch Desperate Housewives. Also ate some Jim Johns with Brian and watched that cute wedding movie with Robin Williams and Jim from The Office. Definitely a cute one with hilarious animated robot infants.

This post sucks hard. I'm a little sad that Bri is going out of town tomorrow and that I need to get back to work. I didn't quite accomplish much this weekend because I felt so lousy. But I sure did have a nice one. And it felt long.

Let me know what you did this weekend!
I did the chili cheese fries at Red Robin. Working on my girlish figure.

+ posted by Special J at 10:55 PM
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11/10/2007

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Good Lord almighty. Made this one by the hair on my chin. Kudos to Steph Jones (!) for that courtesy reminder.

Today I woke up with even more excruciating pain in my neck. That was like a punch in the face from God. But nothing a heating pad, a Brian breakfast burrito, and a hot cup of coffee couldn't fix. Brian takes good care of me. He even watched an episode of Run's House with me. God is love, Brian run.

Then, I don't know what came over us, but I felt the need to totally re-vamp my closet. It needed a clean so bad. I guess you could say that I was saving all of the clothes that I had ever worn because maybe some day I would be able to fit back into that toddler jumper I wore in 1984. Yeah, I don't know. I had all these slutty tops I used to wear in college that now looked like less than a bra on me. It was totally sick. Pants that I couldn't even get over my calves. I mean it was really gross trying on skirts that could now look like armbands on me. So, we made two huge garbage bags full of goodness that we will first take to my sisters and then take to the thrift store where someone will pay 3 dollars for my 80 dollar pair of Bananna khackis. It literally kills me.

But I put in some new Martha Stewart bins and it looks totally awesome.
So much so that Brian and I will spend the night tonight in our closet.

Quickly after that mess, Joe Stan came over for a day of boy play. I watched a little more of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader tryouts and then decided I needed out of the house. I made my way over to Village Pointe where I literally went into every single shop on the strip. It was like a dream. I tested the Mac that hopefully Brian will buy me for Christmas, tried on some sweaters from Gap, took a dump in World Market, and was even recruited by a headhunter in Bananna Republic. Her name is Patience, so if she comes to my house and kills me in the night, just please tell the police her name was Patience and she helps Fourtune 500 companies get direct reach to customers through dot com websites. And I can make a 6 figure income each month from home! Well, Patience, then all the rest of us must be retarded.

But I toured around with my iced coffee and saw the sights. It was nice to get some fresh air, go at my own pace, and make a mental Christmas list. But soon I got a call from the boys. They were hungry and Red Robin was calling my name. I got the five alarm burger and it was like angels sang out loud when I first bit into that juicy beef patty.
And in about 10 minutes I'll have diarehha.

Oh and PS, last night we went out with our pals Tony and Candice and went to the ol' Comedy Club. I was so judging the place and thinking it would be lame until I was literally laughing so hard it felt like I was doing sit-ups. The main comic was from Chicago and also stars in those Coors Light commercials where they are at a press conference and ask various NFL coaches questions. He was a riot. My God would I do that again. It was a great night.

Think positive neck thoughts and I can't wait for a good day tomorrow. Tons of scrapbooking, office organization, more breakfast burritos and maybe a little light rain. Shaping up to be a good day. Also, I will be purchasing my new winter coat that I scoped out today at Gap. It's perfect and I will look like all that and a bag of chips come tomorrow.

+ posted by Special J at 11:32 PM
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11/09/2007



Ah, Grey's Anatomy. One of the best shows ever made, ever. It definitley had me hooked ever since that bomb-blowing-up-scene first season. You're on the edge of your seat and you know that patient is going to pull through. Some acoustic song is playing and then BAM. The writers of the show actually make it so that the bomb blows up and kills everything on that hospital floor. I couldn't believe it. I watched that scene over and over again. It was amazing.

Which, brings me to my all-time favorite clip ever of this show. Denny and Izzie. Denny, walking sex, was an awesome character. He needed more time on the show. Literally makes me want to leap into my TV and nuzzle up against him with a warm fire and cups of a hot beverage. And if you don't even know who he is, then that means you don't watch the show and that means, don't ever talk to me again.

But this moment..after Izzie was feeling strong enough to go on..and everything was okay as she walked out of work that day. And then she gets this feeling. Like Denny is there with her. Oh my God such a powerful feeling. Can't you just imagine what's running through their bodies? I totally believe in moments like this. I imagine that people I've lost are there with me sometimes..important times. And by God if you don't just want to shake her and tell her,
"HE'S RIGHT THERE! YOU CAN FEEL BETTER! YOU'RE TOGETHER AGAIN!" But you can't. But you know she felt it.
That just gets me.

Brian and I were watching this episode a few months back and I was totally cool through the show, but for some reason, when it got to this part, I just started bawling uncontrollably. Like sobbing and hugging him.
It just moved me so much because that's what I want to have happen. To have those people back again.

So stop this stupid Hollywood writers strike. I need more television like this.

+ posted by Special J at 6:22 PM
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11/08/2007

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Well that pretty much sums up my day.
Only, it's like somebody DID kick that fresh turd and it landed right in my mouth.

I woke up today feeling like maybe today would be my day. But then I tried to lift up my head from the pillow and realized that maybe in my sleep, someone had hit me in the back of the neck with a baseball bat and then went on their merry way. Short background: I have random, horrid neck problems every few months randomly and painfully. Like, literally whisper close to my neck and it feels like the entire state of California is standing on neck.
So that's a cool way to start my morning.

Then, mid-morning my eye starts itching and feeling weird and I look at it in the mirror and it's blood red. And there's like a pocket of fluid in the corner like the size of a dime that is making my eyeball merge out of the lid like it's giving birth. Yes, I'm probably growing a third eyeball. Wouldn't that be lovely. So after some drops, it finally went down and now I just have a sore eye. And I LOATHE eye problems. They ruin my entire week. So sweet.

So I couldn't jazzercise it up today with my favorite teacher lady, so that made me real sad. Then, because our IT department yelled at me again, I got the pleasure of sitting on the phone from 5pm until 6:45pm while some teenager tried to run a virus scan and empty my recycle bin.

Ah, so maybe tell me what you all do when you're in a rut. Seriously.
Let's freaking load up the comments.

Not all of today was a wash. And I don't want you all to think I have problems. Tomorrow's Friday and I got an iced Scooter's coffee drink today. And I had a little Grey's Anatomy date with my lovely neighbor. She's kind of the best.

Ok, time for a little bedtime television. Tomorrow's gonna be good. I can smell it. And seriously, if I owe you an e-mail, know that I haven't checked it in God knows when and I'll get to it this weekend. Along with the ungodly amount of magazines I need to read.

Also, got tickets to the Coheed and Cambria concert.
Slightly excited about that one.

+ posted by Special J at 9:40 PM
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11/07/2007

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Well, this post features this blog's number one A+ reader, Mike. I bet he probably had to change his pants after seeing this post. Well, the other day I get a text message from him informing me that I needed to drop whatever I was doing and to go see the movie ACROSS THE UNIVERSE. Mike never lies, so Brian and I made a date to see it last Saturday.

Drop what you are doing immediately. Whether it be feasting on homemade waffles (like I did earlier tonight) or choking on a ball gag (like my sister did earlier tonight) go quickly to your local movie theater and view this cinematic masterpiece.

It's a love story musical based around all Beatles songs. And really, who doesn't love a good Beatles song. The characters are gorgeous, there are those fun drug-trippy scenes, and the Beatles covers make you want to be a better person. And can I please marry Evan Rachel Wood? It was just visually amazing and definitely now one of my favorite movies. I'm so crazy for it that I will pre-order it on DVD and am going out to buy the soundtrack at my local Best Buy. God I just can't get over how amazing and artsy it was. And I love that stuff.
Seriously, a perfect movie with a fake Jimmy Hendrix in it.

Bravo Mike, bravo.

So about the highlight of today was the fact that the big lady in front of my in Jazzercise farted and I had to sniff it the entire last 12 routines. Then she smiled at me. I wanted to do a couple of kick-ball-changes to her face. Brian and I made waffles tonight, watched Queer Eye (show of brilliance), and now are preparing for a little nightly
Keeping up the Kardashians.

I went to brush my teeth last night and found that Brian had thrown away my tube of toothpaste. I asked him why and he said he thought it was empty. I informed him that I had only used it like twice and then basically freaked out and asked him to be less clean and neat and organized and perfect. About 100% of that might have been the fact that something is tap-dancing on my woman parts. But today, Brian made a little point to tell me that he didn't make the bed and didn't put my coffee cup in the dishwasher. Hahaha.. he was so cute about it. And then basically went back to organizing my sock drawer by color and cleaning the baseboards of our garage. Seriously. I wonder if it hurt him.
When he fell from heaven.

+ posted by Special J at 9:13 PM
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11/06/2007

It's about 37 degrees out and pitch dark, but that's not stopping the our little Asian-neighbor-boys from playing basketball out in their front driveway.

Nothing much new to report here. I'm kind of in a slump. Feeling overwhelmed with life. But this always comes and goes. And the awesome thing is..I can have the worst day of my natural life and then I head on over to Jazzercise and just shake what my mama gave me and I instantly feel better. I come home a new woman. Today was my 50th class!
I am so proud of myself. Feeling so mentally better about my smokin' hot bod.

Tonight after some chicken fingers and ceasar salad, Bri and I plan on tackling my insurance enrollment which always kills me because I don't want to take the time to understand it. Or pretend who would get my money if I died in a flaming automobile accident. But it's gotta be done. Then I'm going to shower it up and watch TV until my brain explodes. Let's just cross my fingers that I won't wake up to the feeling of someone repeatedly sticking a Civil War sword up and down my throat. God, I guess it was acid reflux, but come on. Can't a girl have a few Buffalo-flavored Doritos at lunchtime? Cripes. Try having your husband force-feed you a jug of milk at 2:30 am.

I wanted to show you something I bought on Etsy last week.
I've been eying it and I thought it was a nice reward for the week 'o hell that I participated in.
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I love Etsy hard. I could get lost on that website for a few months and not know it.
Great, cheap works of art from crafty people.

Mom is also putting the pressure on to turn in our Christmas lists. This is kind of freaking me out because I still haven't put away the Halloween candy. I have this sick feeling that she has already bought everything. And by everything, I mean little bags of poo. So I've been compiling my list and swam across this lovely jacket as I was surfing one of my shopping blogs:
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Isn't it delish? However, I'm kind of thinking my body would not look the same in the coat as it is pictured here.
This jacket on me would just accentuate the muffin top. And that is not the security you want while wearing a COAT.

And finally, I'm a firm believer in starting off your Christmas shopping with a gift for yourself. Pottery Barn came through for me like they always do. I'll be purchasing two of these cute Christmas-time pillows for my sofa:
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This pattern just kills me. I love a good pattern. They also have a duvet cover, but I think that Brian would probably rather move to China than wrap himself in that every night. So we'll just stick with the pillows.

That's it from Nebraska. Have nice nights!

+ posted by Special J at 7:06 PM
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11/05/2007

"Because Mics are for Singing not Swinging."


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Two weeks ago I attended the Brand New concert in downtown KC with Montie and Liz and Leah. I've been meaning to blog about this show because I never ever want to forget it. I do kind of want to forget about the little emo girl with massive hair that decided to pretend like she was looking for her friends way up in the front, but instead just stopped right in front of her. Her boyfriend was in 2nd grade and she had a huge fake black carnation in the back of her giant hair. And she was wearing enough make-up to choke a donkey. If there is one thing I can't stand, besides the fact that people wear tight hair rubber bands around their wrists, it's when I'm at a concert that I want to enjoy thouroughly, and some little baby comes right up in front of me and suddenly I can't see the stage. So I took action. I tapped her on the shoulder and we got into it. She said she was short so I should be able to see over her. I said I just drove 4 hours to see this show, but shit, now I couldn't because her hair was in my way. She looked at me like I was out of my freaking mind, while her boyfriend tried to kill me with his eyes. I'm sorry, but that's not the way it works. So they moved forward and my heart started beating again.

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
THIS
IS
WAR
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.

and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.


If I could name one band that's above everyone else I listen to, it's them. Brand New. They have three CDs out and each are completely different, however, each so singularly powerful. Each one gives me the chills. Each one offers thoughtful lyrics and good lyrics are just the coolest to me. All CDs are ones you can just turn up loud and get lost in. You can listen to every song on every CD. They are all absolutely perfect.

So, is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever.


The first band to play was MeWithoutYou. Next was Thrice. Both were great bands. Some of the highlights to Brand New, besides the fact that I thought he looked like Alex Korev on Grey's and basically pretended it was him singing the whole concert to me, was a lot of acoustic songs, random cussing, him playing the Star Spangled Banner on his electric guitar, the guitarist using a bow on his guitar to play, two drummers playing at the same time, and the encore where they looped a bunch of soft guitar parts together and then just rocked out so loudly that it made me want to eat my hand.

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?
So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.


So yeah. I don't want you guys to think they are some hardcore, suicidal bunch of idiots. It's really great music.
It's weird how the lyrics seem tougher written out then they do when they're put to melodic songs. Check them out.
If you want their CDs, just e-mail me and I'll burn all three and have them in the mail so fast you'll freak.
And if you hate them, you'll have three new coasters to put on your coffee table.
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+ posted by Special J at 9:28 PM
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11/04/2007

Well, it's a sweet day to be a Jayhawk living in Nebraska, today.
We killed them. I was a little nervous at the beginning because it was so neck and neck, but my God we didn't stop.
I was sure to let out a special yell in the direction of the stupid cornhusker fans while at the Yacht Club.
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So we woke up at the buttcrack of dawn, showered it up and hopped in the car for Lawrence. We made the necessary stop at McDees where I professionally ate a biscuit egg, cheese, and bacon. Then we made our way down by the stadium for some early morning tailgating. It was freaking awesome. Now that we are good, EVERYONE ON EARTH is down there, music is blaring, Vietnam vets are handing out free flag pins, men are scalping tickets, and we're all happy.

So we tailgated for a few hours and once the game was going to start, we went to Yacht Club to take our seats for the game. When we were tailgating, a pack of homeless dudes walked right through the party. I heard one of them say, "No. I don't think one of them will give you a cheeseburger." Pretty much made my day.

So yeah. The Yacht Club. The Victory. The adult beverage towers.

The reason I'm probably not ready to have children real soon:
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Ah yes.. that is about when the night took off. I just kept informing people that we were "painting the town" or "in it to win it". We covered Mass Street and then were taken to a newer sports bar named Zig and Max's. Slight reccomendation: The fried balls filled with bland macaroni and green chilis are not awesome. But I will tell you what was. Me looking over and seeing a table full of some Danny Manning and Bill Self and also the entire coaching staff for KU Basketball.
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Mr. Manning was a raging dick, but Bill Self was so nice. I didn't get a picture with him because he said he didn't take pictures in bars because it's got him in trouble before. That is when I told him it was just an honor to talk to him and that I completely respected him. And he shook my hand. And I'll never wash it again.

Shout out to Ashli who had the balls to go over there and ask them if they ever spend any time on free throws. And then suggested a schedule that would help them to get better. Yes. I may be slightly to blame in the fact that I kept a steady stream of Amaretto Sour's coming her way.

I slept the whole car ride home. We ate Sonic for breakfast and McDees for lunch. And then I had a heart attack in the car. For dinner, home in Omaha, we had a date over at the neighbor's house with another couple from the street. It was so nice. I mean, they're over there serving roasts and I'm over here asking Brian what flavor of Tombstone pizza he wants tonight. Great. Maybe I could be better in that department.

Also...Laura, thanks for the nightly hospitality. You still have the best doggie in the land even though he peed on the hand that I can't wash because Bill Self touched it.

Ah, who ordered a Monday?

+ posted by Special J at 9:12 PM
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11/03/2007



Happy Saturday morning to you! Chances are, my hair is wet and I'm about five minutes away from hopping in my car to enjoy a cold frosty one outside of Memorial Stadium.

But commited I am to this National Blog Posting Holiday. Last night we enjoyed a few rounds of Guitar Hero 3 with Montie and Liz and the dogs. I also wolfed down a tasty chee complete with it's own condiment bar. Then, we popped in Old School and enjoyed a few sasspies. All was right in the world.

Quick shout-out to my crush, Brian Christopher Scott, who has tolorated mega-death-bitch this week. He's done so much for me during the worst week of my 26 year life. He's made me english muffins for lunch, done some laundry, made me stop crying, laid with me while I forced him to watch America's Next Top Model, and loved me hard at the end of every night. I'm serious when I say, it doesn't get better than him. He's my sweet meat.

This is Jenn, signing off.

+ posted by Special J at 12:16 AM
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11/02/2007

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Seriously if this isn't the single-most best greeting card in the entire world, then just kick me in the vagina and call me in the morning. Just another reason why downtown omaha is awesome and why greeting cards rule my life.

Uh, is it bad that I already don't have anything to write about? I also kind of just got tired and now I'm craving string cheese. This is why I don't write every day people. This is why I travel a little every weekend. So I CAN GO TO THE THINGS. It's 3pm, I'm not wearing a bra, still in my jams, and also am sporting the Valentines Day socks that Gramma Ring gave me a few years back. And did anyone else see the Bachelor? Did it piss you off that he kept Bettina and threw out Sheena? Also. Why don't these people have real names?

We're preparing to head to Liz and Montie's tonight. Which means 3 hours in the car with Brian. We'll probably just go through the alphabet like we did last time and think of our possible children's names for each letter.
Wouldn't it be sweet if there was a rocket-fast monorail that shot from Omaha to Kansas city in 70 seconds?
I hate that drive with passion.

Which kind of got me thinking about driving on the open road just now,
so I pulled out that great book by Jack Kerouac, "On the Road" :

"We were all delighted, we all realized we were leaving confusion and nonsense behind and performing our one and noble function of the time, move. And we moved! But why think about that when all the golden land's ahead of you and all kinds of unforeseen events wait lurking to surprise you and make you glad you're alive to see?"

Ah yes. We're off to Lawrence.

+ posted by Special J at 2:59 PM
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11/01/2007

Yes, yes. It's everyone's favorite time of year. NaBloPoMo!
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Dear God, I will be posting for your enjoyment EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THIS MONTH. I think just as I typed that, a single tear ran down my cheek. Scratch that..literally right as I finished that sentence, an eyelash fell into my eye right in the corner. Right in the freaking pink pupil park that you can't really touch. Great now I'm freaking out. You know how weird I get about my eyes. Great. So now I'll be blogging with an eye patch. Or it will probably work it's way back to my optimal nerve and create some pussy infection that will cause me to lose vision, followed by death.

So I know it's already November first, but let's do a little re-cap of Halloween, shall we? Brian and I continued our tradition of carving pumpkins and me getting a huge arm rash. In that order.
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I opted for the traditional wide-mouthed pumpkin, while Brian went all creative on my ass and did a KU Football pumpkin, in honor of our nice 8-0 record, slash, hell freezing over.

Oh, shit. I need to probably go ahead and explain why I look like open ass in the following pictures. Two weeks ago, the help desk dispatched a guy to come update some simple software. He takes two looks at my computer and ran a test and delivered the news that my hardrive was about to blow. Perfect. Next thing I know, I am over-nighting it to Kansas City. But do I fret? No, because they say that I will have it back in a day. Well, actually day is French for ENTIRE WEEK. I was without my work computer for an entire week. Ah, you can imagine how much you can actually acomplish with no computer. So I keep calling and they tell me it might also be my motherboard, my fan, and my sanity. As a result, a little piece of me dies.

Then, after a week of this crap, I finally get the computer back to me. The important thing to note is that it DIDN'T HAVE ANY DRIVES OR SOFTWARE ON IT. I didn't need them to touch those things and they did. Actually, they were nice enough to put one drive back on that directly linked to the budgets for Fire Chief Magazine which in turn, upon discovery, made me want to vomit on the computer, put all the packing peanuts back in the box, take a fresh crap in the box, tape it back up and ship it to the IT people.

For every program I tried to run, it asked me for serial numbers. I would try to call the one ladies number I had and she said she couldn't give me the serial number on the phone. Like I was trying to secretly mass-distribute illegal copies of InDesign to the entire WORLD. So I called the help desk and he said that he would have to call the EXACT SAME LADY BACK and get the serial number. Of course, she took 2 calendar months to return his call. Meanwhile, I emailed another tech who just started emailing me random serial numbers. Then, the first guy calls me back and READS THE SERIAL NUMBER OVER THE PHONE TO ME, two days after my call in the first place. That was just one story in about a jillion. Meanwhile, I am swimming in shit, because I have to place and work on a 156 page magazine that I have barely even started. And it shipped the next day. Let's just say I slept for like 1 hour a day, for several days, my eyes were bleeding, my head was pounding, and all of this because it literally takes 45 minutes to copy and paste a file. Kill me now.

So because of the worst working week in my entire life, I behaved like this:


But I've been going to bed early, consuming illegal amounts of chocolate, and watching all of the
Dallas Cheerleader's Training Camp reality show that I can get a hold of. All-in-all, it was a wonderful halloween. I made my traditional chicken chili with cornbread and we ate it while we waited for 30 kids to come to our door, all dressed as Hannah Montana.
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Ooh! And here's our cute mantle. All decorated.
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So, I think this is a good first post. I've gotta go wolf down some chili and get my farts out before I have to go a party hosted by some neighbors wherein I get to purchase items to rub on your walls.

Looking forward to KU murdering Nebraska this weekend for the homecoming football game. We'll be in Lawrence, naked and running through the streets with torches.

+ posted by Special J at 5:07 PM
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