10/28/2004

The burger tray just pulled into bun station!

GET OFF THE SHED!


I will handcuff little Brandon to a pipe in a crawl space if you don't GET OFF THE DAMN SHED!

10/27/2004

"I wish that I could climb
inside your mind
and spend some time
in there
and hug and hold ya."

So I've been kind of a boring Betty this week. Brian's been in town for a business meeting, I have officially picked out my bridesmaid dresses, f'd up my neck cause I had to sleep on Laura's bed which compares to a sidewalk, realized that my dreams of getting my ideal invitations are completely out of the question, unless I happen to stumble across a couple thousand dollars bundled in a gutter.
But I guess, hypothetically, that is where Charlie found his golden ticket, so it might happen.

I'm gonna go to the mall and return a jacket, because I spend too much money. Then I'm going to lay out the Computer Music Product Guide (i know, i know, you've been waiting for it.) and then i will probably watch tv and blob around.

Oh, yeah, so I went to the bank after work. Here's how it went down:
Stupid bank ho: Hi, how can I help you?
me: Uh, can I have a checking deposit slip?
SBH: (with the most serious look I have ever seen on a face) That will be 50$.
me: um. are you serious? wait. um. what?
SBH: no. the first one is free.
me: what? um, ok, thanks.
(so I do my paper work real quick and put it back in the slot for her to get)
SBH: So, is the 50$ included in this deposit?
me: (thinking that this joke has gone on long enough, and maybe bank people workers should not make jokes about extra charges, or money for that matter.)
(So I say..) Um, well, maybe i'll let you pay for it, since you seem to be so nice.

(and then she gave me my money, I drove off and she sucked my dust.)

Seriously. Well, as a public service, please check out this link for me:
bless you, Chipolte.

10/25/2004

I'm pretty gassy at 9:06pm, I'm not gonna lie.

Today was slow. That's kind of how it seems to be getting lately. I had a wonderful weekend though. Brian came down here and we went out to eat, watched a supurb Cheifs victory, ate Chinese takeout, visited our Lawrence, and saw a homeless man walking down the sidewalk pushing a stroller and treating an Abercrombie bag with a model's face as his baby.

We also took some engagement pictures. Oh did we. And believe it or not, I already have them back. Well actually online. I'm mixed. Part of me thinks they are real cute and I want to paste them all over the planet, and part of them make me want to get face surgery and lose 400 pounds and get hair implants. You bet I went to the gym tonight.

Besides basking in the foliage and straddling logs, we also checked out some invitations and hotels to block. I felt productive. But I also feel like I need to get more done. And I want it all to be freaking beautiful and perfect. I'm praying that it all comes together like the most best thing and everybody thinks to themselves that they love it while i'm dancing my pants off on the dance floor.

Gotta go visit Brian at the 350$ a night Sheridan.

10/22/2004

FYI ladies, slim fast makes great snack bars and Diet Coke makes great Coke.

Yesterday was shaping up to be a ton of crap on my head, but it took a turn for the better. I had to go to the Plaza by my lonesome, because I wanted to visit the mecca that is Anthropologie. So I'm driving on the ol' highway, looking for the 18th St. Expressway, and come to find out, I think I'm on the wrong highway. I realize I'm mentally retarded, and in a state of panic, I take the Holmes exit. I'm a nervous wreck, in large amounts of traffic, and directly in front of CENTER HIGH SCHOOL. Luckily, sister Kris saves the day and directs me to the Plaza. But, people, I'm in a time crunch. Because I'm cruising down Holmes St. and it's 6:30 and this store closes her doors at 7:00 and I need some sweet clothes for those engagement pictures. I finally make it back to humanity and find a parking garage after driving down all those gay streets with no traffic light and it's like QUICK GO STOP, everyone for themselves. I'm driving down wrong ways in the parking garage, people are honking, and I almost parked right into a large cement post.

Somehow, I manage to make it out of the 48th floor parking complex at 6:45 and basically sprint over to the place, I'm pissed, and I read the sign to learn that they are, indeed, open until 9:00. So I had like 2 awesome hours to revel in its gloriousness. So I basically made out with the store and found the cutest fitted button up bright ribbon shirt and a pink sweater with a diagonal neck that has a spot for one of those insanely huge flower buttons that I have always dreamed of purchasing. But I may have to make do with just one outfit, because man it's pricey.

Then, into the dressing room, and into my life comes Tyler Robertson, the architect. We shopped some more and I resisted the evil bains of their jewelry table. Then we snuck a peek my dream invitations at Paper-Source. Finally, because our stomachs were eating themselves, we went on over to Baja 600 where I feasted on the most tasty salad of my life. Huge Stacked baked circular chips with salad, beans, cheese, tomatoes, salsa, chicken, and rice. Man, it should be my job to eat salad.

Thanks T-Bone, for making a great night!

Today I have a manicure appointment with that same lady that said AWWWKAAAY after ever single thing I said. I gotta be looking good when I frolic hand in hand with brian through some foliage tomorrow for those pictures.

10/20/2004

I've been in kind of a funk lately. It seems that the last 3 nights, Mom has had to come into my room frantically at 7:08 or 7:15am and wake me up. (I am supposed to leave at 7:30am). Not good.

I went over lunch today and tried on my own bridesmaid dresses. I think I got 'er narrowed down. As usual, the lady at Margies Bridal was about as friendly as a bitch. I also became familiar with the need to permanently strap myself onto a treadmill and NEVER STOP RUNNING. Then tonight I received my Jim Hjelm bridesmaid magazine and while yes, all of the dresses look adorable, they are also modeled on like infant babies who are like 9 feet tall and look like Keira Knightley. Sick.

The R. Sox are looking good, I'm thirsty for some water,
and apparently my Dad used to be called "John the Jammer."

'night

10/19/2004

Praise the Lawd for Mom's janky oven that prevented us from feasting on meat loaf.
I feel like I should never eat something that has the word "loaf" in it. Amen.

So now I can eat with the fam and the gym can wait for later. And then there is quality TV on tonight. And the new Jimmy Eat Word CD rocks my face off. And it is frigid in this old house.

10/18/2004

Chocolate ice cream, a muscle relaxer, and fresh sheets.
In that order.
For the love of God, cut your hair Johnny Damon.

Thank you #1 reader for the clip of a boy who will be gay in 5 years.

Nighty night.

Today I'm drinking some bottled water that I most recently found out has an expiration date of July 04.
Is that wrong?

This weekend was a page out of Perfect Magazine Monthly. Brian was late coming in from VA on Friday night so I talked on the phone to an old friend and ventured on over to Best Buy to purchase the new HIM cd and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on dvd. Here is a picture of the freaking hotel that Brian stayed in for a week. I think the Pri would maybe never do this. Yes, it is the inspiration for the movie Titanic. And I'm not kidding.


So on Saturday morning we had a nice Panera lunch in our laps in the parking lot. We then headed on to the Orpheum Theater. It is the most grandest and oldest theater I've ever seen. Everyone was dressed to the nines, we were escorted across a skylink and then seated. AND MY WORD, WE SAT FRONT ROW, VERY CENTER. It was the most incredible show I have ever seen: RENT. I've seen it about 4 times and I swear, it could be my job to watch that thing, daily. It was amazing and I would publicly like to thank Brian for taking me and getting me the greatest seats ever, in history. And for going to see it, cause I know he would rather be playing computer games.

Then Saturday night after glorious, glorious RENT (everyone buy the CDs) me and Brian went on a power shopping maniac trip. First was pottery barn, duh. I bought these cute little cranberry ball trees. Haha. Balls.

Um, I basically wanted to buy everything in the store. It was all new. And Christmas! Oh Christmas! So the second and last thing I purchased was this tall vase for these flowers that I had bought a long time ago.

Brian hates it. Tell, me.. do you reader-people like it? If you saw it in person, I'm telling you, you would throw up because you loved it so much. Then after the Barn, we went to the mall, I looked at my cute store, and then went hog wild and bought a new black pea-coat. Damn Gina, it looks good on me. So watch out. Then we kind of started pooping out so we went back home and did power cleaning 2004. Here was the problem. I was assigned to vacuuming and I was doing so good, until I started vacuuming around Brian's laundry. Instantly, I sucked up one of his boxer shorts and it's half in the vacuum and half not and it started REALLY smoking and smelling and I am screaming and I can't find the off switch and it is making horrible noises and burning his boxers. Brian came in, saved the day, and the vacuum spent the night on the deck, outside. A few cans of febreeze, some candles, and we're all Ok.

So here is the finished product, only half vacuumed:

Sunday the Chiefs blew and I had some delish Crane Coffee. Miss you Bri.

Poll: Floor-Length bridesmaid dresses or Tea-Length?

10/14/2004

I just brought up tuxedos for my dad.
My mom just asked me what color coat?
WHITE or black.
Then she went on to say that she feels white is best for a summer wedding.
I am in shock. I can't believe my family.

Brian just called and said he bought us something at the cig plant in virginia that he is touring.
A giant cig? Tabacco leaves? Maybe if I'm lucky, a leather Marlboro Bomber Jacket.

Moving on..

I am going officially, to see RENT this weekend in Omaha. I am so pumped i think i'll eat this cupcake that accidentally fell into my lunch sack. Bless you Hostess. Things are kind of a lull at work lately, but maybe that is because I turned into a space alien and I can't concentrate. I feel like days are flying by and I'm doing things but not getting things done. Whatever Dude. I just found a neil diamond T-shirt and I feel good about it.

I am like beyond excited for sister Laura to come home tonight. We're scouring KC for that beloved bridesmaid dress. I'm about to throw in the flag, so we better be successful. I am becoming obsessed about this wedding. Like I just want to research and look all freaking day long. I want to do it for my job and I'm nuts.

Laura sent me this. Wah-La. It's things like this that just remind me how cool she really is.

Ah, gotta go organize and water my office bamboo plant tree stick.

PS, don't miss THIS.

10/12/2004

Here is a funny thing.

ah, I guess here are a few things that happened to me recently:
1.) I got a raise yesterday. I'm throwing money away, I have so much. Wait. No.
2.) I walked into my boss's office today and she was helping me with an issue layout for the post office. For obvious reasons, I couldn't stop staring at her postcard pamphlet for spray-on silk stockings. WHAT?
3.) I'm on my second piece of gum for the day.

There might be a slight piece of light at the end of my tunnel. Maybe that hellish extra mag will be off my desk. But until then me and Steph will poke our eyes out with pencils, I will over-eat on the peanut M&M's because every single employee has a goddamn halloween dish of them outside their cube, and try to reassure myself that maybe I'm not really having a brain aneurysm.

Tonight I'm hitting the gym like a wild stallion in love on a Wednesday morning.
Then tackling the guest list, watching real world and loving the glory that is my bed.

**Possible seeing RENT at the Orpheum in Omaha this weekend. Call me a very lucky gal.**

10/10/2004

Ok. Woke up. Brian's in Chicago. Then on to Richmond, VA. So I'm here alone in the apartment. Just for the record, I miss you, hairy beast. He called me at ten a.m. and scared the life out of me. I was in a dream: I was competing in the Olympics for swimming. Except all you did was stand about a foot away from the wall and we were in the shallow end and you either did a front flip back to touch the wall or you just jumped back. And the fastest one won. Except all of the countries teams were in the pool eating on the sides. Like for example: I was eating mash potatoes and dipping the bites in nacho cheese. And I look over and saw Erin O'Neill from high school and she was telling the polish coach how I shouldn't have even made the team.
And all I could think was man... she is being such a traitor to the United States of America.

Then I was all of the sudden on a train that was going really fast and I was with this family of gumby cartoon characters. But I wasn't a cartoon. And they were all brown. And I was wearing a navy poofy like wedding dress. And we were going to there house. They told me since they were the color brown, everything in their house was brown. And they didnt' know how I would fit in and what the police would say when they met us at the house. So we got there and everything was brown and I stood out and I heard the policeman in the other room say, "Well, how do we know that she won't change you. How do we know this huge bed isn't hers, when we always knew it was and should be yours?" And then all of the sudden my cell phone went off and all I could think was that I would totally be busted for being so different. But the thing is, is that my cell phone really was ringing and it was Brian and was really calling me from Chicago in real life. So I woke up and was really, really confused. I blame the Salsilito?

Ok, so I think I'm going to tidy up my favorite apartment and peace out.
And do the following things in order:
1.) Celebrate KU's supreme victory over K-State.
2.) Get gas at Fantasy's (haha) gas station.
3.) Buy a huge cup of Crane Coffee
4.) Drive, drive, drive.
5.) Break for McDee's somewhere non-farmish.
6.) Maybe go straight to work. (i feel motivated)
7.) Go to the gym cause they are open till 8.
8.) Do some 8 minute abs, arms, buns. Because Brian let me borrow the DVD.
9.) Watch extreme makeover, home edition as a reward for being awes.

10/08/2004

If I hear that "get retarded" song one more time on the radio, I'll lose it.

So, here we are (me and Brian, producer of some righteous gaseous maximus) and we are going to try dual blogging.
I have now, in the flesh, seen our new TV become a 62 inch monitor and my God.. single tear.

Jenn: So me and Brian just got back from Venchezno's. It is a local italian restaurant. Oh yeah, I also took a half day. Suck it Pri. So, we were ordering and I, being an idiot, went with the Salslito pasta dish. In about ten minutes, I found out that Salslito is German for birthing a goat after eating the Salslito. Seriously, it said that I was going to get Italian sausage, onion, and peppers on a bed of sauce and noodles. Jesus. I got the thing and it consisted of two big Johnsons. Huge, whole man bits that tasted like you had been sucking on a jalepeno for 52 years. My word, I took a break from the spicy links because I feared the worst and saw my future consisting of a front row seat on the toilet for the next 6 days. Brian ate a whole sausage.

Brian: I am really tired and full of Salslito. Jenn keeps trying to put her toe jam in my face. Yum. The best part about the night is when Jenn went shopping....or should I say Jenn went shopping and I followed her through all of her girly stores. Anyways, she picked out RED velvet pants at Express. She came out of the dressing room looking like Santa's little helper. She was doing high kicks and a little dance...yeah, until the sales person came around the corner and looked at us like we were big geeks. Well, this is my first Blog entry and I must say it is much more enjoyable on 62" of high definition glory.

Jenn: Ok, wake back up blog readers. JK. Yes, although I was in velvet pants that were red, I did end up purchasing some black velvet pants (velvet is the new turquoise) and a sweet little suit coat number that the lady sold to me for half price on a big accident.
Thank you, thank you. I have found my cute suit coat top for those of you keeping score at home.

Ok. I'm tired and I want to watch mindless television. See what I made for Brian out of some wood:


Please answer this question: Would you rather poop a softball or pee a marble?

10/07/2004

I am officially declaring the hunt for a cute one-button suit coat, OVER. I went to Old Navy, where the commercials promised that I would look like some cute blonde in a tweed suit jacket with a little silky lingiere tank peeking out underneath. She looks stellar, I try the same outfit on and look like a fat English banker. Then I go to try on some other cute finds and blah, they are all paper thin and remind me that my arms are pudgy mcgee and that I am carrying an alien baby in my stomach. I guess I need to have pencil stick legs that go straight to my neck. Otherwise I am doomed.

One thing Old Navy did do was encourage me to go to the gym tonight and tomorrow morning at 5:45am. Because I think I'll go to Omaha tomorrow. But we'll see how fantastic that plan seems tomorrow morn at the butt crack of dawn.

The spider bite is red. Really red. And it still huts. Damn you tarrancula who was nibbling on my neck.

Lastly, Laura Hall (oldest pal, star of "Who's got the Shoe", Walk-Right-in Dancer, and political person whom i love) has supplied me with the greatest gift of all time. It truly is the most wonderful thing I have ever seen. I've restricted myself from viewing it at work, because it's just too much to handle and I laugh too hard. It's over there on the left. And folks, it's titled, "The Pan Man."

10/06/2004

i will find you, spider that bit me in the neck.
and I will smush you and hurt you like you hurt me.

(today i got to go to the dr. and have my bite dug out with a needle.
i'm taking antibiotics, too, because of the spidey.)

it feels like i got punched in the neck.

10/05/2004

It's high time I post to my beloved blog.
I'm getting a headache, because people from New York are weird and I don't understand them. But I got a new bulb put in my right cube light. This makes work a little more fun again; having light shine down upon all of my work. Thanks Dave Valdez.

This weekend was so nice. I got to Omaha on Friday evening and Brian had a delicious steak dinner with mashed potatoes and green beans and salad. He's so domestically cute. So we ate at our nice new table. I did the dishes. Then he said he had a present for me because he knew I had a tough week. So I open this wrapped present and it's Head Automatica's CD. How thoughtful! Immediately we put it in and had a huge dance party. Picture Brian being a spaz and like pumping his arms and keeping his head perfectly straight all while doing the running man. Very crisp, he is.

When I pulled into Omaha, it was 43 degrees at like 5:30pm. A tit bit nipply. Hahahaha.
That night we went to the movies and saw Wimbelton. It was cool girls, but don't be expecting a mushy gusy all lovey-dovey story. But I did get to see a bare butt. And Brian got Kirsten's boobs through a shower. So I was mad. I had a red bull before the movie and I forgot how fantastic those make you feel.
I was like spaz McGee for the rest of the night.

On Saturday the main thing we did was purchase this tree:

It's a Ficus tree. Me and Brian call it "Mike Ficus".
So we went to this AWESOME and HUGE lawn/deck/garden/everything store and it's my new favorite. I desperately want to have a yard that I can decorate with tile and plants and assorted pots and ceramic objects. We picked Mike out and had them re-pot it in the new pot we picked out. I think Brian mistakenly thought we were purchasing our first born child. I seriously think he was so concerned. I reminded him that it was a mere plant and that you just watered it once in awhile when you remembered. He was concerned that he was not home very often and that it might be a little to large for him. But by god we bought that Ficus tree. You should of seen the two of us trying to get it into the mini-van. Classic.

Saturday night was pretty chill. I was introduced to this piece of heaven:

Mo. The neighbors new dog. Most dogs usually scare the bejesus out of me,
but this one was just perfect and nice to me. So now me and Brian want to get one. We love Mo.

After Mo, Brian pretty much played Doom III the entire night with the neighbor. I watched all of SNL. Brian is in love with our new TV.
Does our new TV have internet capabilities?
Can I see what your blog looks like, Jenn, on the 62 inch Mitz? Oh yes, yes you can.

Now if that is not the most glorious thing, Melissa, I don't know what is. God bless this blog.

Other things of note that I have done lately:
1.) Purchased gorgeous wedding dress on Friday.
2.) Been working my ace off at the new gym I joined.
3.) Had Silver Spoon Chili for lunch yesterday. (I immediately regret this decision.)