10/15/2007

Today has been a pretty nice day. It's been barely 50 degrees outside and real rainy with gray clouds. I love that kind of weather. I opened both windows and the cold breeze blows in and it's just the kind of weather that makes you take the deepest breath in and it just makes you happy.

It's also a good day because apparently the Athletic Director for Nebraska was fired today. Who cares. The news stations are covering this like someone found the cure for cancer. Now there is talk of the head coach being let go. All because they randomly don't win a game now and then. I have never seen an entire state freak out because they didn't beat their opponent by over 40 points. The news stations broadcast a story when the Quarterback blows his nose. For this exact reason, I fly a large KU flag in the front of my garden. I love being different. And 6-0 in football.

So, Miss Mary tagged me for a green blog post. I'm lazy when it comes to this. I mean, I'll be the first person to yell at a stranger if they litter. I will yell at kids if they break a fresh tree branch down, but I am not Al Gore. I will tell you that since we have bought the house, we set up one bin for trash and one bin for recycling. And let me tell you. I have cut down my trash by at least 60%. I recycle junk mail, cardboard, plastic containers, newspaper, magazines and a lot of other things. It's so easy and it makes me feel good, too. Might I also say that I am married and living with the leave-the-room-turn-off-the-light Nazi. We basically live in the dark and we also always have blinds closed because it will save us 10 cents a bill by not heating the house up with that extra sun. And lastly, this may not have anything to do with being green in your home, but make sure you all take the chance to explore America's National Parks. It's probably one of the simplest vacations you can take. Do it in a tent. But I promise you, it will make you appreciate this land and it is sincerely the greatest vacation you will ever have. I'm glad I've got the chance and I'm glad I have that appreciation. Thanks for tagging me Mary!

Up next is the account of Laura Ann's visit.
Click here for the Flickr pictures!

So, little Laura came in town over her fall break from KU. She rode in on her silver car, straight to our softball game. Although she might have been too cool for school, we needed an extra girl, so I made her play. She liked the high ones and then got a 10 minute explanation from Father Ump because our bench started to get a little rowdy at his strike zone. She didn't care. She'd never play again. But somewhere, in some city, in some hardware show, Laura was making Dad's dreams come true by stepping up to the plate again.

After a nice fried meal at America's Neighborhood Bar & Grill, where Laura and Bri ordered the 3-piece fried feast, we headed home for the night. Sidenote: Do yourself a favor and order a cherry limeade from Applebee's. It's probably the greatest beverage I've ever tasted after 26 years on this Earth. Laura and I stayed up talking very late, solving the worlds problems, getting delirious, and possibly crushing a tube of cookie dough.

Laura has a new little dogger. His name is Joey and I want to eat him with a spoon. Laura is the best dog Mama ever and Joey is perfectly playful and obediant. He likes to just park it and sit right at your heels while you do things like wash the dishes or perhaps positioning the towel in such a way so that he could hump it and you could laugh. His little poops were so creamy and precious and I just love how he runs to you if you get so excited and call out his name like a spaz. And he'll flip over for a belly rub faster than he can go pee on your carpet without you looking. Laura even caught a doo in her hand so it wouldn't get on the floor. That, my friends is pure dog love.


I took two half days so that Laura could sleep in and I could get some work done. My computer decided to go all gay on me and it frustrated me real bad. I love how I called the help desk on Thursday, now it's Monday, and I have yet to receive that call back. Obviously things are slow but working, so let's just see how long Mr. Ticket can stay open.

Thursday afternoon, we hand lunch at Paradise Bakery and hit Village Pointe. We shopped so hard at Gap. We basically came out with exactly the same clothes, which could pose a problem. Probably only for me, because let's face it, I don't have Laura's body. We scoured every inch of that fabulous Gap, then raided Francesca's for cute jewelery and Jeanne Marie so that Laura could buy her first decorative bird. I think a single tear ran down my cheek as the purchase was made.

We had to zip it back because we were headed to the 5:30 Jazzercise class. I talked Laura out of the pink mesh pants and we were on our way. Laura fell in love with the instructor and I pretty much died of a heart attack every time I looked over at Laura and saw her pointing her toe.

On the way home from our work out, we decided we would be good girls and cook Brian a dinner because he was concerned about going out every night. Well, concerned he probably should have been, because we stopped at Hy-Vee and emerged 3 hours later, during the night, with a full-size ham and about 70 other things. We went home and began to cook at about 8pm. Haha.. Have some cheese and crackers Brian because you might be eating a late dinner. Because we made apricot-mustard glazed ham, cheesy party potatoes, oriental salad, warm rolls with honey butter, and a chocolate-vanilla pudding cream-cheese graham cracker desert that would steal your heart. We literally sat down to eat at 10pm, I only had 2 mild freak outs that resulted in crying and me eating a bag of cheetoes. You wonder why I have an ass the size of Cincinnati.

I think we ate the entire thing halfway asleep. But it was goregous and we had fun in the kitchen together while Brian battled thousands of little teenagers in online Halo 3 games on the Xbox 360. I'm so proud of him.

Friday afternoon, we went back to Village Pointe again to cover the rest of the shops. I think a little of my shopper's delight rubbed off on Laura, because she basically boosted the Nebraskan economy that day. She got some great things. And they were all 10 dollars! Including that totally necessary red dog mat in the shape of a bone! God I loved it. After that area, we drove downtown to the Old Market and walked around. It was the perfect day for it. We had some appitizers at Upstream Brewery out on the open-air deck. Two large bees drank most of Laura's swamp-water cosmo, while I basically fought the boys off with a stick in my new Target Rocketeer jacket.

We went to the best paper store downtown, looked at expensive clothes, and ran around the antique shop. After some meth-head screamed "COLLEGE GIRLS!" and pointed to us while his barefoot girlfriend held him up, we decided to go find the brand new Urban Outfitters. I tried on some choice items, including a shiny silver, tight hat that made me look like a gay train conductor, the pink hoodie of my dreams that Laura later purchased, and even a metallic skimpy bikini top that basically got lost in the flesh of my torso. I was going to show it to Laura for a good laugh, except the dressing room attendants were so afraid that every one was going to steal everything, that I wasn't really allowed to. They even checked my purse before I headed out of the store. It was kind of insulting, but then again, so was the dead skunk on top of that young worker-girl's head. Oops, I mean her trendy hairdo.

Probably the best buy of the whole trip were neon shirts that me and Laura rocked at dinner that night. Mine read, "THIS IS WHY I'M HOT" and Laura's said "HIT IT AND QUIT IT". I know her's is funnier and mine is kind of almost sad, considering the shirt was so tight that the letters were almost unreadable because my boobs stretched the text out so much. But whatever.


We wore them to Roja where I enjoyed the tastiest of Raspberry margs. I could drink one permanently for the rest of my life. So good. We dined on liquid cheese and other things and Laura undressed the cuban waiter with her eyes. We had a great time . So great of a time that we demanded that Brian drive us all over town in the monsoon, looking for a place where we could Karaoke to Boys II Men's "I'll make love to you" in our neon shirts and then just drop the mic when we were done on stage and make a B-line to the door. Turns out, it was just a dream.

Saturday morning, we hopped in the car so that we could take the Wildlife driving safari. Laugh if you will, but that is one of the coolest things to do in Omaha. We got so close to these elk with full racks that I literally pictured them just busting through our windows and goring the hell out of my face while Brian steps on the gas and speeds out of the park, dragging a full grown, 400 pound buck out the side of our window.


I kept humming the theme to Jurassic Park and taking many photographic masterpieces. Then, at the end, we got out of the car by the lodge, only to totally molest the iron Bison statues out in front. I got a nice picture of my head peeking out and around a pair of giant balls.


After the wildlife adventure, we went over to Vala's Pumpkin Patch. It's huge, i've talked about it before; it's an omaha tradition. We waited in line, on the road for 30 minutes, just to get in. But after we did, we tackled the farm head-on. Never in my life have I witnessed so much white trash, but we managed to have a wonderful time, in addition to a funnel cake, 10 dollar per person admission, and a total downpour of rain. Laura and Brian started to get restless, maybe because lightning was striking all around and I demanded that we board a hay-ride out to the field to pick pumpkins. I'm serious. It is like the one holiday activity that I TOTALLY love. And pick pumpkins we did. We also hit the gordwalk and slingshotted a few crab apples. Brian treated that activity like it was his test to get into the Army. Finally, we trecked back to our car, through the mud, as better people.


That night, we got all dolled up (total hotties) and went out for a Tapas dinner. It ruled. The hummus to die for and the back of my shirt kept coming unbuttoned from the top all the way to the bottom. That's the price I pay for high-fashion. Or total back-fat, take your pick.

We met up with some of Brian's work associates at the dueling Piano Bar. For a short time before this, we tore up the dance floor at the Drafthouse. With my back to the wall, for obvious reasons, Laura and I caught the eye of a young male nurse. He couldn't believe we weren't taken and when I showed him my ring, he couldn't believe Laura wasn't taken. Then, he informed us that he wasn't like other guys.. that he had the balls to talk to attractive girls like us. Well, you know me, I immediatley turned his sentance around and said, "YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR BALLS ON US?" He was drunk and confused and then got real embarrassed because he thought he told us he wanted to put his balls on us. That was the end of that. Our work was done. On to the Piano Bar.

Not much to say here. It was the end of the night and we were tired and people were falling into us. And then instantly, Laura was engaged to one of Brian's co-workers and up on the stage announcing it to the entire room of 100 people. It was the perfect end to the perfect evening.

The next morning, we caught some brunch at LePeeps and then helped Laura on her way. I cried when she left. Lately, she's and I have really hit it off. She's there for me and I'm there for her and it's nice. I loved having her up in Omaha and preferably, I wished she would just move in with me. Laura, I want you to know how much fun I had with you this weekend. It made my year and it decreased my bank account. Wouldn't have changed a thing.
Except maybe have made that cinnamon roll a little softer.


i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

10/08/2007

Hi There.

I don't really like the fact that I'm starting to blog once a month. I have more to share and I need more time to write about it. Lately, like for the past few months, I've felt a little unsettled. I think we're home about 1 weekend out of the month and that's not good for me. I have this huge problem of trying to please everyone I know. I'm kind of thinking that I need to remember that I don't have to do that every single minute. It's totally perfect and okay to be at home, in my jams, drinking coffee on a Saturday with not really anything to do. And I don't have to talk to anyone if that's the way I want things to be. I'm just feeling really stressed out about life lately and I just have to tell myself now to take a deep breath. True friends will be true friends, errands will get done, and lately, I've never felt closer to Brian than I do now. I've really been spending time getting in tune with him and just enjoying our time with each other in the simplest ways. The breakfasts, the walks around the block, the talks with the lamp on and our heads on the pillows and buried in the covers. It feels good to get this out. To turn on a good, loud, sad-bastard song, and pour everything out. Time to start calming down and living for me, in Omaha, with things that only make me happy, and with my little, brown-haired guitar playing man.

Lately stuff has been a blur. After my trip to Chicago, I've really been trying to be there for my sister. She's been weathering a bit of a hard time and I am devoting myself to making her feel better. There's been a lot of tears, motivational speeches, anger, phone calls and visits. But through it all, we've grown closer and it just makes me realize that together we can do anything and that it reminds me how much I love my sister and my whole family.

I wanted her to see this poem. Maybe you'll like it, too.

The simplest of bridges, a promise
that you will go forward,

that you can come back.
So you cross over.

It says you can come back.
So you go forward.

But even if you come back
then you must go forward.

I am always either going back
or coming forward. There is always

something I have to carry,
something I leave behind.

I am a figure in a logic problem,
standing on one shore

with the things I cannot leave,
looking across at what I cannot have.

Anyway, she's traveling up here on Wednesday for her KU Fall Break and I am so excited! We're going to eat out a lot, do some shopping, go down to the Old Market, probably get a little silly, and play with the puffball.
It's going to be perfect and I'm then going to lock her up in the closet so she can never go home.

Let's get to some other major Jenn life highlights:

Hot dog, I JOINED. I've been going strong for about 45 classes now. Every single day for a few months. I have never felt better about myself. I have so much fun and I am feeling strong and babe-like. I love bopping around to Bon Jovi, JT, assorted techno, and (puke) Joss Stone. I wear basketball shorts, stand in the back row, and throw out the ocassional yell when she asks how the back row's doing. Seriously, I'm obsessed. How can you not be when on the first day of class they throw in Sandstorm for one of the aerobic songs. I will mention the fact that there are two seperate groups of participants that can wreck my Jazzercise experience on any given weekday, should they decide to show up:
1.) Greek Twins: Two bouncy sprite-looking girls who are short and no matter where you are, find you, and stand directly 2 inches in front of you. So close that you can smell their hair. (half black, half blonde.) When the entire class is moving to the right, they will juke left and do it double-time. They are entirely too bouncy and have the roundest bouncy butts that I have ever seen. I hate them.

2.) Stripper Cheerleader: I have only had to suffer through one class with her so far. She was front row in a perfectly pink outfit, making every single move the sexiest it could possibly be. News flash, you can't make a pelvic stretch look hot. A couple of times she would like she was in church and was just touched by Jesus. She would raise her hand up high, stretch up and shake her head like she was amazed that the Lord could be making her shake so hard at that given moment. And then it was right back into some toe-pointed, overdone, naked dance. Freaking gross.

But seriously. If you are in a rut and looking for fun exercise, try it out!
You will be hooked and I promise you'll become a Jazzercise Ambassador. Heavy on the ASSADOR.


Next on the list is the greatest gift to any girl who does not have a body similar to a pencil. Let's face it. I grew up. All of the pizza settled. I have curves. I enjoy an occasional doughnut. It is hard to find jeans that don't show my buttcrack or heaven forbid, my front crack. That's where my secret weapon comes in. Many thanks to my Aunt Barb for showing me Not Your Daughter's Jeans. Now. I know what you're thinking. That's the most retarded name on the face of this earth for a pair of jeans. I know. But slip on a pair of these babies and I don't care if you have a daughter or not, they immediately lift your ass cheeks and suck your thighs in so that you look like you did in the 4th grade. Don't laugh at me until you try a pair on and you are kissing me on the mouth. My Aunt bought me a pair. Dark denim. Looks like any other pair. No embarrassing tags with that gay name. Instead, material so perfect and comfortable, that you could do the Chinese splits while on top of a balance beam. Run, immediately to your nearest Nordstrom or Macy's or Ebay and buy them all up. I made my mom try them on and I was blown out of my chair.
They are hot and your legs need to be in them.


Also a new discovery that is making me shoot to the moon: Paramore's new RIOT cd. Basically about 1 hour of sweet gloriousness coming through your speakers. The whole thing is good and perfect to drive to or belt out in the shower. Buy their CD and call me in the morning.

So, that's all I'm putting out here right now. Going to teach myself that I don't need to write a post that's longer than the Bible each time I sit down to the computer. Besides, I have aquired the West Nile Virus through a mosquito bite on my upper arm. It has now swelled to the size of a full babies diaper. 3D. It's huge and red and itches like there's no tomorrow. Brian is worried and wants to take me to the hospital to have it drained. I'm gonna take my chances.

Just in case, I better tell you about the best night of my life. AKA, last night. We were invited over to our neighbors house last night for dinner. You'll remember that I've become their professional babysitter. We dinned on bacon-wrapped shrimp, pork tenderloin, and garlic smashed potatoes. It was extremely fun to be able to get to know them better and to just chit-chat and feel the way neighbors feel while knowing that they've got a good pal next door. It was awesome. I love the fact that we know them so well now. It makes me feel good.

Then, I stayed over while more gals came over to watch the nightly edition of Desperate Housewives. I was in heaven. I had been invited to join an elite club of young mommies. All were slightly older than me with some kids, getting together for a little nightly girl talk over wine. We shared stories, laughed, I made fun of myself, and I felt like I never wanted to leave. More importantly, I took notes and found some women I want to be like when I become a mom in 70 years. It was truly great. I even made Magic Bars for us to snack on. They were a hit and so was the comment where I painted the picture of the super-mom actually spinning pottery in the basement because she was that super. We stayed over there until 12:30am. It just felt so good to be part of a group and to meet some new people. Some grown-up people. That, and the fact that the super-mom is having a garage sale on Thursday and she is totally holding a fully-loaded black drumset for Brian and I to purchase because her oldest son doesn't want to play anymore.
So Brian is giddy and I'm dying from the West Nile Virus.