9/28/2005

Dudes, I'm back and ready to attack. Word is... I was hivin'. And that's straight from the doctor (who looked like a basketball player)'s mouth. He prescribed some Allegra and 40$ cream and I was on my way with a new lease on life.

As soon as Brian hooks my camera up to the tv in the family room, I'll be loading up some pictures, but in the meantime, you'll have to suffer through with this old pic at the top from when I used to come visit Brian in the 'braskan winter.

Speaking of which, I would like to publicly say that I now have my wedding album and it will rival anyone's in America for the title of BEST COLLECTION OF GORGEOUSLY SCULPTED PHOTOGRAPHY. So... time to plan your visits to the corn hole people, you have to visit me and see this fine specimen of a book. Bless you Misty. You do fine work.

So as you have all found out, I will be not getting that dog as I so thought. Apparently, little Dixie is full of it in Missouri. Apparently talking for 5903 weeks and mentioning that you would be driving 6 hours to come see it means it's totally cool to sell doggage. Jesus. So me and Brian are back on the hunt. Whoops, I almost typed hunk. But, alas, the pekingese are not prevalent in Nebraska. Cattle, yes. Pekingese, not so much. Does this mean I drive to like 84 states away to see the dog? I'm torn. Maybe I could just walk into the house one day and there it would be, arms all spread out, waiting for my sweet embrace. Also, maybe holding a starbucks for my parched lips. Sweet, sweet thoughts.

This weekend will be sweet ace, because I'm going back to my roots. KC. We'll be visiting some pals, visiting the fam,
I will shop, go to the chiefs game, and then see my long lost best pals at the Pri. Should be swell.
And I'm workin' hard Herr Lambert, so that we may all dine together for lunch, even though we'll dine for breakfast.

I love rainy days, so in honor of this, I will tell you my top three things that have really been rocking my world lately,
not to mention should be in my possession as fast as they can:

1.) Sweet, sweet (GlassBabies)
2.) Rejoice, my (future bedding)
3.) (Coming soon) to my kitchen.

9/26/2005

Why?? Why!! (shaking fists in the air)

Ah, yeah, so luckily I was able to contract some sort of allergic reaction/hives/shingles over the weekend. My hands are swelling up so bad. Like you could bounce a quarter off of my thumb. My hands are the worst part. They swell, they itch so so bad, but they also hurt like 100%. It's horrible, I'm doped up on Bennedryl, which does nothing more than make me sad and a professional sleeper. Also, it apparently takes celebrity status to acquire a doctors appointment in this blessid state. So, I'm not going to really write more, because I'm too down.

Meanwhile, please give me some warm fuzzies and some confidence and reassurance,
as I plan to probably drive 6 hours to Kansas this weekend and purchase this.

9/22/2005

Yo there.
Good God almighty, did anyone catch Martha's Apprentice last night? May I note a few things?

a.) FIRST AND FOREMOST, why on this good green earth did Martha's male "eyes and ears" feel the need to use his cigar prop so awkwardly and noticeably IN EVERY SINGLE SHOT. At first, he seemed like a sweet Grampa man, and then like a second later, WHAT?, I see this brown thing in his hand and yeah it's a cigar, not lit, that he flashes around all limp-wristed and whatnot. Freaking weird.

b.) Ah, carrying on with Mr. Smoke 'em if you Got 'em, did anyone else find it rather biased, that right off the bat, he knew one of the contestants? Holy cripes! I think , I THINK, that maybe that's probably the first thing I would cut people on. You know anyone on the staff and you automatically LOSE. But no, apparently, everyone at Omnivision, and even the other contestants merely thought that it was cute that the girl had studied in Paris with Mr. Cigaro's daughter and even dated his friggin' son.

c.) Martha's daughter? Switch-hitter with a decent hair dye job?

d.) What was the deal with the guy that got kicked off? Seriously, I'd be really embarrassed if I were him. He was like a whiny bald bossy creative person that I wished would walk out of the boardroom and off a plank into the ocean.
And no, we aren't interested in joining you in the bathroom. That's sick.

e.) You don't "fit in". And then you get a cordial letter from Martha. Wow. Did you guys catch it in the end when they were doing the promo for next week and the announcer asked, "Tune in next week to see who gets a letter from Martha." And then they showed Martha writing the word "Dear" on a piece of stationary. Except the killer was, they had Martha say the word "Dear" and they slowed it all down and drew it all out and it was all low and suspensful.
She sounded like a Haunted House that swallowed Barry White. Great stuff.

God, and tonight is the Donald. It's like too much TV for me. The Birthday celebration was perfect.
I'll have pictures the day Brian hooks up my camera to a computer.
For now, sweet coffee with a little Vanilla Coffeemate. I'd also like to travel.

9/21/2005

Happy Birthday my sweet thing! (Brian)

Let's all celebrate his 25th by leaving your favorite Brian memory in the comment box.

And if you don't know him, make something good up.
Keep it clean people. I'll go frost the cake! Literally!

9/20/2005

"I don't believe,
In the smile that you leave
when you walk away
and say goodbye.

Well i don't expect,
the world to move underneath me
but for god sake
could you try."

Well hello there. A little Kelly Clarkson never hurt anyone.
First off, what's up to Misty Woodward, ladies and gentleman. You will use her to photograph anything you need photographing or I won't be your friend. Second off! Today, Martha's show was all about Martha. That's right.
HER WHOLE ENTIRE AUDIENCE WERE LADIES NAMED MARTHA STEWART. People, they were awarded the guiness book of world record for having the most people under the same name in one room.
I'm not gonna lie, it was a cool show, seeing what all those Marthas do for livelyhood.

Speaking of TV, mine is overloaded. My DVR is going to burst and that's a pretty awesome thing. I think I'm gonna have a hard time keeping up with all of these shows. Here's what I'm thinking about:

-Real World (can't get enough of the drunk kids)
-Apprentice, Donald and Martha (note: DVR Martha tomorrow..it's all about her Appretice show!)
-Rock Star INXS (Finale is tonight. This show is like drugs.)
-Laguna Beach (This show gave American vocabulary the word "dunzo")
-The Office (Starts again tonight. Brillance in the form of sitcom.)
-MTV's Sweet 16 (Did anyone catch Bjion last night? Divo!!)
-My Name is Earl (Gonna try it out. Hairy face and stache.)

And so yeah, I'm cool. What are you guys watching?
FYI, I loaded up and helped out the monthly revenue for Pier One yesterday. I'm talking wooden balls (yes),
that fab pillow, golden (coast to) coasters, and some cute glass bathroom containers for by the sink. Go, me.

9/19/2005

Today, there are many things to rejoice about.

1.) I have just completed my first trip through the Starbucks Drive Thru, directly across the street. Like, so close I could touch it through my office window. I just hopped in my Taurus and in my PJs, got that coffee. It's a beautiful thing, really, that I just might repeat morningly.

2.) Today is the day where Oprah premeires her new season! We're talking new season, new stage. And Jennifer Aniston. I seriously can't wait and I'm setting the tivo for the entire season. I think Steadman might also make an appearance, so that's always a treat. Little Steady.

3.) Found a great new pillow at Pier One. (Click here)

4.) The Chiefs kicked ace last night in "The Black Hole".

5.) Good shows start happening soon. The Office is back this Tuesday, I might try to catch that Earl show, Laguna is still going strong, all those retarded kids in Austin on the Real World, and the back to back Apprentice shows will be starting faster than you I could step into the P. Barn and purchase something.

Speaking of television, I have to tell you about what has consumed my 9am time slot. MARTHA. Bless the Lord, this is a great new show. I can't tell you how many times they reference her being in the slammer. Like last week, they had David Spade as a guest. He came in all dressed up as her and they made recipes that she was able to make in prison. Like cinnamon apples in a paper bag in the microwave. She was able to buy some spices in the jail's general store, thanks to some contraband that she had saved up from the week before. And, on the show, she even used the grater she made from a sardine box while she was serving her sentence! Later, her and David, made Nachos like she made for all the inmates during the night they were allowed to watch the Oscars. On another show, P. Diddy was the guest and it was a "wrapping show". They had him on to teach martha how to sing about being "a balla, shot calla, holla" and Martha taught him how to make wrapping paper! How perfect. And a few days ago, Susan Lucci learned how to pot plants and also gave Martha a new, more decorative "ankle bracelet," right off of her own leg! My favorite has been poncho day, where everyone in the audience received a free poncho. Even her dogs wore one!

Okay that's enough. Have great days.

9/16/2005

(i blew a blood vessel in my eye.)

This is a new blog that's refreshing and more me at the same time.
(bless you.)

Ah, yesterday I poured an entire glass of water on my work laptop. Which is funny, I cause I usually don't even drink water during the day. But it shut off automatically, began making sizzling sounds, and I cried for 5 hours. By the grace of God, the thing dried out over night and I am back in business. Literally. Don't ever scare me like that again.

This weekend features desk assembly, mass magarita consumption, and cooler temperatures.

hooray!

9/09/2005

Well, I'm in the midst of concurring the bout that has taken over my body.
Yes, I'm sick.

I've been this way since Tuesday, basically delirious, going through boxes of tissues, eating food I can't even taste, not showering, and watching as much Felicity as I can get my hands on. (I just watched the one where she says to heck with Noel and just makes out with Simon Rex in that hot art room during a storm. And hey, early Jen Garner, take it easy on those lip injections.)

So I broke down and went to the Omaha doctor. (Which by the way, I think some gothic 14 year old girl was waiting with her mom in the lounge in order to, only seconds later, be called and have her take off her chain and stud covered jacket to have her arms inspected because I think she was in the process of having tattoos removed? I dunno, I kept staring at her mom and she kept looking back at me too.) My normal doctor was booked solid, so I had to see Dr. Osbourne, new guy, who looked like the cartoon Doug mixed with that evil boss guy on the Simpsons. After seriously 45 minutes waiting for him to come in the door, I had read all of his posters and felt more of a doctor than he might be. I soon realized he was going to be one of those doctors that opted for the "free sample baggie" instead of the doctors that just plain fix the problem with some good antibiotics. And they fix it so good that cold won't come back for 6 years. Apparently, this cartoon doctor thought I had strep when my face was basically puffed out 7 inches and I sounded like some one had ripped my nasal passages out.
But super, that strep test really felt good anyway, doc.

I shall leave you with something that was let into the magazine this month:
(it's a guitar pedal)

9/02/2005

Goodnight I am worn out. I sneak away from the husband for a quick minute.
He's playing a little Grand Theft Auto, so sweet.
First of all. Can I say that this is just the thing that probably makes me happiest of all in life:

Go Whitney, Go. (Click here for pete's sake.)
I don't even really like the show, but the mere fact that I literally walk around the house all day singing that line is sheer greatness.

The last week has been a blur of red bull, rapid heartbeating, magazine people taking dumps on my face, plant purchasing, a 24 hour drive to KC, and being late for work because my Dad insisted on polishing my headlights with a towel and some cleaner.

And can I tell you something? I needed to pee bad driving home in the middle of nowhere, so I stopped at a gas station/antique mall/seller of large concrete lawn statues/small sick restaurant. I walk into what should be a large bathroom but it's really the size of a card table. And the two stalls feature spaces where the stall joins the wall that are so huge, I can literally see these two fat ladies, fully occupying both toilets, and dumping their nasty vegetable poop. And lucky me, I'm the next one up, who, mind you, gets to flush the rest for her because she sucks. And thanks for putting a dead moth the size of China next to the roll of toilet paper. So that was great.

Do me a favor. Go here: http://www.okgo.net/ and please watch the "A Million Ways" Video.
God, life rules so much right now.

Well, I'm signin' off for now. Tomorrow the in-laws are in town. And staying with us.
Sleeping in twin trundle beds.
So, yeah. Wish me luck and listen to this song I found:
("If you can't dance to this then take your hips to the doctor")