5/28/2009

Hey all you. Lot's to catch you up on. Once again, I'm feeling a bit on the retarded side for being unemployed, and when that happens, I think I bolt. So I've been to Kansas City a lot, took a jaunt to St. Louis to see my saint of a nephew, and have two trips booked to California. But then you have no idea how badly I want to just sit behind a desk and check company email and have a lunch break and also get a paycheck on fridays. I AM READY, CITY OF OMAHA. Did you hear that?

Moving on, the smallest member of the Hall family has finally made it through High School. It's crazy. It's nuts. I thought she was still in my mothers womb. But actually, everything has been going as planned, and she is really supposed to start college in August. Of course, she's made the smart decision and will be a Jayhawk. A week or two ago, Brian and I went back how to watch her graduate.

I couldn't be more proud of my littlest sister. She was honored at her class day for being among the top ten GPA students in her entire class. What an amazing accomplishment. And to top it all off, her varsity softball coach called her during the state tournament to notify her that she had been named all state EKL Utility Player (infield and outfield) for the year.

It seems like about 3 minutes ago Steph was being brought home from the hospital and the three older sisters all had the chicken pox, so we couldn't see her for a few months. Didn't want to kill her, you know. Dad put a tape line down on the carpet that we couldn't cross to get into mom's bedroom and we had to wear these paint masks all the time. And the kicker is, Steph never even had to get the chicken pox, because apparently there is a vaccine for that now. Lucky.

The weekend was kind of nuts because mom turned into a frantic weirdo that was dusting dust and pulling out her finest china to serve Lamars doughnuts on in between bouts of heavy crying. Then I'd see Steph straightening various framed needlepoint pictures hanging in the hallway before the guests arrived. I mean, seriously?

But all in all, it was fabulous. I got to see grams, she gave all the sisters gem watches which was a sweet bonus and I hear Laura never takes hers off. Not even to shower. I got to see Kelly and Jenny with her little babe who is still cooking. And of course Laura straight from DC, who promises to be at that Husky reunion in July so that we may reminisce properly like slow dance with Garon Fereria and read horoscopes with Rob Dooley.



Also something I did recently was attend the Used concert with love of my life, Brian. It was awes. There are always a good mix of ages at the shows, but I am definitely growing more annoyed at the 12 year old crowds of people who are inches away from my face, exploring each others mouths and who have used one entire black eye liner pencil on each eye, no matter boy or girl. I will tell you one thing right now. If my son or girl ever has a piercing anywhere besides their ear, say, like, their chin, or perhaps their face or neck, I will personally rip it out in front of their friends while I am naked, thus, creating more embarrassment. Yes, I did see more than one young persons with their NECK pierced. They looked to be about 12. Also please note, that if my son chooses to wear any form of makeup, I will be sending him over to live with my father. Have fun with that future make-up wearing son. That should fix you. But all in all, I hope they like this music, because I want to go to these concerts with them. I will not raise my kids to like country or this Taylor Swifty gay crap. Or Whitney Houston, who my sister Kristin still celebrates the whole collection of to this very day.

Here is Bert, singing the last song. Right before this he was talking about some stripper that had cut his face with her long heel and how he was going to find her and get her. Wish I would have caught that on camera.

Other than that, I took little Joe the dogger back with me to watch while Laura attempted a lesbian floatrip. Not really people, but she'll have to tell you that story when she's ready to open up her diary. So in a nutshell, we've had joey for a solid two weeks and we're loving every minute of it. He thinks he can catch robins. One time he made the humoungous leap from the ground up onto our giant bed. He likes to poop in the neighbors yard, but not our own. I let him lick my fingers like nuts after I eat a meal. We have given him lots of belly rubs. I spazz him up and make him run circles around the entire house, upstairs and downstairs. We bought him a new toy that is a huge duck with a rope tail and these shoes that are life size, but made of raw hide. He did a complete body slide/brain mash while sliding into the kitchen cabinet going after a toy. I take him for a walk every day. Joey eats fourth meal. We all cuddle in bed for atleast 15 minutes each morning. Joey likes Tyra Banks. Brian gives him a treat every time he poops. Bad Brian. We set up Joey's little stoop so he could look out the upstairs window. And I open the door so Joey can watch me garden all day. Sometimes his poops are green.

Next up, my St. Louis adventures. Can't wait for a visit from Laura ad Ryan tomorrow and we are going to see Wicked tonight to celebrate 4 beloved years of marriage a little bit early. Brian is such a prince.

5/11/2009

I know, I know. I kind of dipped into a low point there. One, where I had taken to the XBox for hours at a day. It was sucking my will to live. Literally. I was obsessed with getting gamer points and Brian had to step in and get me straight again. Teach me how to get dressed again and remind me that there was something to live for. I had to slowly introduce my eyes to the sunlight again and re-learn how to drive the Jeep.

But now I'm back and I'm ready to attack. Man, I feel like I have so much to fill you in on. Let's start with one weekend where we felt it necessary to join in with our buds and go adult rollerskating at 11pm to 1am. And then I had the fun idea to kick it up a notch and dress like we were all actin' a fool. Attention: many people still get a serious thrill out of rollerskating on a normal Saturday night. Which means, the place was packed, as we pranced in there looking like this:


I don't want you to think Brian's gone retarded. We went to Wal-Mart and he was a sport and nabbed the finest and tightest pair of true blue jean shorts that they had to offer. Some of you readers might recognize these from your college days at K State. They fit nice and tight and his ass looked like a piece of chocolate cake. And then we returned everything the next day for a full refund. Classy, I know.


He kind of looked like he had a backwards George Washington afro ready to get that mother truckin' bill onto capitol hill.

Let's see, in other news, I went through 3 interviews with a company and then they told me it came down to me and a junior candidate. They then told me that they were offering it to the junior candidate because I came with 5 plus years of experience and that I would cost the company more money to hire. EVEN THOUGH THEY LIKED ME MORE, SAID THE RECRUITER. That's really tough for me to hear. Then they said something about wanting to build a job for me. Then Dad said something about how I'm lucky to not be one of those sick kids that Kristin has to be a nurse to. And I just had to have a good cry for a few days. I am just sick of this all. It's so hard to pump your self up for this all and then to come that close and to be let down.

And so I chopped all of my hair off:



Ha! I probably should not have put this picture up because I had just gotten back from the salon and I'm all looking like a total hottie and since then I have had to shower and now I look like someone has taken a blonde shit on my head and thus, cannot re-create the original look. But I feel good about it. Glorious actually.

This weekend, my infant sister is graduating high school. This makes me feel about 90 years old. Sign me up for Delmar Gardens. Jesus. Get me a monocle and schedule my double knee surgery. Call Southwest and tell them I need wheelchair pick-up. But really, the Halls are going to party it up, Gramcracker's going to be in town and I'm really looking forward to it all. Steph is one heck of a kid and I can't wait for her to be up at KU, living the dream.

Um, quick side note. Has anyone been watching TV? Private Practice killed me. Who slices open a live person to steal the baby? What's going to happen? Me equals dying. So You Think You Can Dance Is Starting up soon! And I swear to Texas, if I have to stare at the gayest man in America anymore on Idol, I may toss my cookies. I am so tired of seeing him stick his tounge out and hit that high note into the microphone like it's a big dick. Yeah I said that. Also, I am ready to go to New Jersey with the New Housewives.

Tonight, Brian and I are going to the Used concert at Sokol. Holla at your girl.