2/18/2008

Comment on this entry, and I will:

1. Tell you why I am friends with you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. In return, you must post this to your own journal/blog.

For Melissa:
1.) I am friends with you because I am drawn to you. I really look up to you. You are organized, ambitious, an acheiver, and a loyal friend that I have a ton of fun with. I love going on adventures with you and exploring the internet together. And I want you to live with me.
2.) finicky lunch-meat
3.) I like how you decide you want to do it and you get it done. Also, you pass out good internet links.
4.) hung-over and deciding in a Chicago McDondalds that double-quarter pounders would be a good idea.
5.) Do you ever want to live away from Chicago again?

For Stephanie:
1.) I am friends with you because of your hapiness, your drive, and your easy-going attitude. You are thoughtful and comfortable and have the best laugh. I know we'll be friends forever. I could have fun in a cardboard box. Wait. That sounded sexual.
2.) Horses and Cats and when someone has to turn on the faucet and shower while they drop a fresh turd.
3.) I like how you are always reaching for the next highest thing. I can also totally relate to you in most situations.
4.) MJ MJ MJ
5.) How many babies do you want to have? When are you going to start?

For Jessica:
1.) You are a great listener and someone that I can get great advice from. You are a kind heart. You are a wonderful mother to a baby model. You are dependable and honest and someone I can share Pri war stories with.
2.) Sauces and Halloween
3.) I like how strong you are. I like how we can laugh about stuff together and you're just the best person to talk to. I want to be as good of a mom as you are some day.
4.) John's Jammers, Coordinating/Decorating for Halloween at the Pri, Sleeping at Roy's random friends house for my bachelorette party. Yeahhhhh!
5.) Provided there is awesome daycare free of charge, what would your dream job be?

For Kelly:
1.) You are one of those friends that I have had forever. I am friends with you because you are one of the only people I know who I can have the best conversations with. We can talk about anything and you listen. And you offer advice. And you care about what I am saying. Also, one of the few people that I can sit up in my bedroom with, night after night, and have the best time of my life. We have laughed. We have cried. I get excited about you.
2.) Sheridan's Dirt & Worms, Vanilla concrete with double M&Ms and double Snickers.
3.) I like your strength. I like discussing things with you. I love your interest in things. I like how we enjoy a good dinner together. I love how my Dad asks you serious medical questions. And you are the most loyalist reader of my blog.
4.) Coach Collins visits, Our great nighttime walks, surviving the KU tornado with you, Razzys!, hanging out in my room every night with our TV shows, even that one time we got drunk in my Lawrence apartment with those Steak and Shake cups.
5.) Can we have dinner when I come back in town in early March? I'll pay.

For Laura Ann:
1.) You are an incredible sister. You talk me off the ledge. You make me laugh, HARD. You are clever. You are pretty. You bring out energy and good things in me. I like your dog. I also love your enthusiasm, communication, and your clubbin' tops.
2.) puppy chow, quotable quotes, cooking, and the sweet sound of your Ford Focus turn signal. Oh, and Dennis and Lynn.
3.) I like how we are so close. You know everything and keep me in the loop with all the funny stories. You lift me up so I can stand on mountains. You raise me up, to more than I can be. And I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
4.) Almost too many to list: Our upcoming trip to NYC, making dinners at 10pm, you painting my nails black as I barf, riling Joey up, Pastor Polly, ichat, picking up hotties at the Cheesecake Factory with Mom.
5.) Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?

For Courtney:
1.) I'm pals with you because no matter what, you're always like me. We get each other. We have the same humor and style. You are my most creative friend. Your art amazes me. Whether it be a Sonic waky pack or a billboard size picture of Omar Epps, I still tell perfect strangers about how good you are.
2.) Tony Rich Project, hitting cars and then driving away, misspellings, knee-dislocations, and people who can leap in the air and touch a doorbell 60 bajillion feet up in the air.
3.) I like how you are finally fulfilling your dream of living in Denver. You have the most welcoming and lovely family of any friend I've ever had. I like how you help me with Mac stuff. I like how I've known you for my whole life. And you'll still always be a better basketball player.
4.) There are almost too many to list, CLC. Probably sophomore basketball was one of the best times. Our suprise coach collins visits with his break-dancing son. But then again, Justin Timberlake was pretty nice, too. Hala Hala Hala.
5.) Where is Ben Williams?

For Rachel Lamble:
1.) I've been pals with you during the good ol' days of Oxford Middle and now have found you again because you are the ruler of all cute things on the internet. I'd say you're a lifelong friend of mine. I'm glad we've re-connected. We used to pass weird things around the lunch table, have our little rituals, and run around with the now Miss Kansas. I can't say that about a lot of people. You were one of my best pals in middle school and just have remained a super sweet girl every since. Someone I'm proud to still call a pal.
2.) Didn't we used to have a laminated Greg Lougainus picture and a Children of the Corn picture at our lunch table? Who was I? I guess I also associate you with pottery barn, great web design, cute things, and our beloved High School yearbook.
3.) I love how you married Travis. I think you guys are so cute together and it just makes me so happy. I feel like me and Brian would totally love hanging out with you if I didn't live in stupid Nebraska. I love how crafty you are and how important your family is to you. I also love you sense of style.
4.) I thought it was the nicest thing in the world that you would send me one of your Christmas cards. And a little thank you after I sent you the garland from Target. You're so great!
5.) Where did you get that green Kate Spade tote that says Kansas City on it? I would kill for one.

For Laura Marie:
1.) We've had the longest friendship out of all my pals. I'm friends with you because we were close neighbors, Howlin' Huskies, Blue Rose leaders, Rad Racers, and most importantly, HALLS. The part that makes me smile, is I know we'll be lifelong friends. We know what's going on in each other's lives
2.) I associate you with cinnamon heart chewies, block parties, travel, flying pop-tart boxes and Saudi Arabia.
3.) I like how intelligent and friendly you are. I like how close to your sister you are. I like how we always have Northwest gossip to tell each other. I like how you have hottie Andrew in your life. I like how maybe sometime soon we'll both live in Virginia. I just love how we grew up together and have so many stories. Some, involving Craig Chaney.
4.) I think a hilarious memory is how gymnastic obsessed we were for a few years growing up. Remember when Kim Zmeskal was on top of the world? And Shannon Miller's bangs? And then your Dad built you a bar in your basement and I was insanely jealous. That, and you also got a subscription to USA Gymnast. We took gymnastics at Eagles and then I became too big for the leotards, bigger than the teachers, and plus, I couldn't do that front flip over the vault.
5.) Is it weird that I still have my half of our best friend necklace in my jewelry box?

For Kris Hall Ray:
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)

2/15/2008

Well, seeing that it's freshly 10:00 pm and my husband has been in bed since 8pm and my friday night consisted of buying a large lamp at Target, I should probably tell you about my trip to Dallas last weekend.

I was to be re-united with my besties, Jones-Coleman and Sweet Meliss, this time in the land of big hair and big dreams, Dallas Texas. This was to be a sole girls weekend, but darn it if Brian didn't have a major check-in that same weekend on the same street where Steph lived. Alas, he spent time with the cigarettes and I spent time with my girls and about a dozen cats.

If you even halfway know me, you know that I loathe to fly. Meaning, hours before I fly, I am thinking that this will be the day I die and I didn't even pick up my dirty underwear in the bedroom. Or, I wonder if Brian will keep all of my home decor up after I have died in the plane crash. And how I would kill him if he re-married.

Actually I did okay though and it was a pretty smooth flight. The black lady next to me even offered her purse-light when she realized my overhead light had burned out and I had to read about how Britney's Mom might have been sleeping with KFed. They even served a pretty nice cheddar snack mix during the flight.

So I got there and literally did the slow run into Steph's arms. We were shreiking, people were staring, and i felt good about it. Immediatley we met up with Melissa and our trifecta was complete. And I can't believe I just said that. Stephanie was over-excited and kept mentioning how we were going to re-enact the grassy knoll massacre with the volume of 45 microphones. Right in the middle of the airport. So we had that going for us.

Steph then drove us to heaven, excuse me, her apartment complex. Surrounded by fabulous restaurants, bars, shops, nice people, and husbands who make fudge brownies for you after you've already eaten 50 pounds of cheese salad. We grabbed a bite at a nice pizza establishment where I apparently wanted to over-order. News flash: I'm a hippo. After that, we headed back to the animal kingdom (Steph's apartment) where we put on our jams and did what we do best (surf the internet).

Melissa and I spooned on an air matress in the family room while cats and dogs circled around our heads like sugarplum fairies and candyland dreams. Apparently I snore a tad, but it's better than the sex moans I heard coming from the "person next to me". Just kidding, they were kind of subtle.

The next day were were up at the crack of noon and ate at a cute little Bistro where the waiters were almost too busy to take a picture of us. We caught each other up to speed and it was 80 degrees outside, so basically I was pooping my pants in perfection. We then drove (BOOTS WITH THE FUR) past a plethora of adorable houses that secured our idea that we need to move to Dallas immediatley. So down to some shops we went. I think the hit of the day was going in this dumpy Gramma store and finding out that they sold a million masks that made us look like other people. And then we made friends with the geriatric store owner who had never had any fun in life until we showed her that you could try on these masks and then take pictures of yourself. Best purchase I've ever made in life.



From there we visited many a cute shop until we hit the place that I will work at, just as fast I can get to Dallas: THE SODA GALLERY. It's just a room filled with crap relating to various soda pops and you just come in, select your pop of choice, and then sit down in the comfy chairs and maybe solve a small puzzle or play a game of checkers with your multicultural friends. It was so perfect, sipping on a cheerwine soda, the breeze blowing in from the street, the colors, and the soda boy behind the desk. I swear to God. We need more soda shops in this world.

Ok, so now hits on probably the greatest 6 hours of my life, aside from marrying Brian and the future birthing of my children. Yes, cross it off my life-list, I have been to MIDEVIL TIMES. You aren't retarded. This is the place where they make you wear a paper crown and you eat a huge turkey leg while you cheer on your knight in the sand pit below. Hands down, the funnest night of my entire life. I think I saw a few people from my high school actually in the show, but lets not talk about that. We drank out of solid gold knight heads, there were 8 busses-worth of senior citizen attendees, and we fell in love with the blue knight. And I almost got us kicked out for making an inappropriate comment about the garlic bread. I'm not gonna lie, I think hospital food was probably tastier than what they served, but the wooden sheild that I purchased more than made up for that part of the eveining. Back to the blue knight. I'm serious. What is a hottie like him doing working at a renaissance show? I'm smitten. Not only could you crack walnuts with his jaw, but Lord only knows what he had under that cloak. I totally should have asked him what he was doing after the joust.


We definitley snagged a grilled stuffed burrito after that experience. Because let's face it, we're growing girls.
And the chicken looked like an under-developed fetus.

The next day was filled with more animal time and then we hit the open road in search of the beloved grassy knoll. We arrived and immediatley had to be somber. No pictures allowed, but I snuck one quickie in.


This was actually a facinating museum. I am sure glad we went. Very eerie and informative. Scary to see that very street where a president was assinated. I had to hold Steph's arms down so that she would not try any Lee Harvey Oswald funny business. Then I purchased Brian a JFK magnet in the gift shop.

We then went outside to see the street and the official grassy knoll. And all of the homeless crazies who swear that this is just a big govermental spoof and that they have real pictures of JFK's bloody head that really aren't supposed to be released until the year 2039. Where's Mr. Tindle when you need him?

After our historic part of the day, we planned to meet up with Jason and watch the KU basketball game. But not before we had the Mexican version of Thanksgiving dinner. It was my dream. Perfect in every way. Even the waiter whose knuckles were all scabbed up because he got in so many fights. Also, Jason told me that I have very thin hair and not to worry, because it will look very nice when it is all gray.

Aside from our little moments around Steph's house and a small run-in with the retarded sleep-deprived Target photo-processing lady, that's basically our trip. Our perfect, perfect trip. I also bought a porcelin replica of a soup can with no label made by an Italian artist. I am so proud.


Steph, Meliss- I want you to know how much awesomeness was packed into this trip. I swear to God, we're gonna do these trips until I'm 112 and I can't even remember who you are any more. But that's okay, because we're all going to be in the same nursing home doing puzzles before the 4pm dinner time, right? I love you girls with all the love in my heart. I laugh the hardest when I'm with you guys and I just feel so darn happy, too. Thank you for the best weekend and for being my buds. And for letting me catch that carnation when the black knight threw it into the air during the performance.

As good as drugs: Here are my Flickr pictures from Dallas!

2/14/2008

Looks like Gramma Ring wants us to be at more happy hours.



Happy Valentines Day.

We will be celebrating with Brian having a severely-pulled muscle in his spine, thus causing him to be bedridden and me to shovel spoonfuls of advil into his mouth.

2/05/2008

It has come to my attention that I need to blog. It has also come to the attention of our entire nation.

Honestly, lately I've been feeling a little bit like the short bus. I'm slow at everything and I'm always playing catch-up. Also, I'm slightly retarded. But I've just found a half-open bag of mini-chocolate chips in the pantry that should compliment this blog post nicely. Let's see if we can't get you all back up to speed.

Heath Freaking Ledger
Wow did that one come out of left field. I kind of felt awkward that my Mom called me with the news. You KNOW Sue is on to the gossip circuit, but come on. I was actually kind of shocked at first. Death just baffles me. Then you throw in the fact that it's unexpected, he might also be dating Mary Kate Olsen, and he stared as a gay cowboy, and I am downright obsessed with up-to-the-minute reports.

Thanks to the wonders of Apple, I'd like to bring to you, my Heath Ledger live reaction in a series of 6 gripping stills:







As a tribute, Brian and I silently watched Brokeback Mountain that weekend. It was Bri's first time seeing the dude-on-dude butt ramming, but as I always do, I balled like a preschooler at the end where he had his shirt inside the other guy's shirt. Despite Jake having a poorman's porn stache, it still gets me every time.

DUCK RACES: Avoca, Nebraska
This experience will probably stack up as one of the best times of my life. It all began in 1981 when the first word out of my mouth was DUCK (ask Sue or John). From there, it was only a matter of 26 years until I attended the greatest championship in the history of animal racing. I give you, the Avoca Nebraska Quack-Off.

It was the 28th annual, and it made my entire life. Sure, we had to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn on a Saturday, but we and about 70 of our closest friends piled into a rented school bus and headed an hour away to nowhere. I am not a morning person, but with the help of an egg and cheese on a biscuit, I hit the ground running.

After we arrived, and the population 250 town grew to nearly 3,000, I quickly realized that this day was not going to be childs play. The town didn't have a gas station or grocery store, and I didn't really see any houses. It was about 40 degrees outside with snow and I quickly helped myself to a bowl of homemade chili, made my the town firefighters. It cost 15 dollars to rent a duck for the day, or you could bring your own. That you had trained. All Year. Once you register, you travel over to this large blue trailer and get to have your pick from over 100 ducks, all running away from you, in hay, flapping their wings like it's the last day of their goddamn life.

Now, it was clear to me that I was going to be fully participating in this duck day. I didn't want to go half-way. I teamed up with Candace and let her pick our duck out of the trailer. I'm not going to lie, I didn't want to touch a duck right away. Things like the Avian Flu, bathtime, and Thanksgiving dinner crossed my mind. Plus, I can't even pet a dog correctly, how was I going to man-handle a duck that was actually the size of a horse.

So, we grabbed the craziest one we could. The one that had blood dripping from it's fangs. Ready to race at a moment's notice. Oh my God and then I held it. We took way too many pictures with it and began to stratigize before the big race. Which was basically, me, poking him in the eye in order to make him mad so that he would take off. That, and injecting him with performance-enhancing drugs.

We were in heat 26 of 60, with 5 ducks in each heat. That's a shitload of ducks. Plus everyone's drunk and wearing duck paraphanailia. I think I even saw a meth addict. What? She's allowed to enjoy the duck races, too. So when you're up, you hold on to your duck really tight and put his feet on the ground. When the gun goes off, you let go and your duck (hopefully) takes off towards the finish line, with you racing after it, waving your hands and screetching like a crazy person.

We won our first race:


Hot dog. Then we were interviewed by the paper and the news channel. We waited for the second round of races, while our duck's wing bled all over Candace's jacket. Sadly, we placed second in the next round because we were apparently next to robo-duck who broke the sound barrier as he blasted past the finish line. I returned our bloody duck, back to the hay trailor, and went to go get a nasty polish sausage from a fire fighter that I couldn't tell if they were a male or female. All of the proceeds went to the volunteer fire fighter program. And their sex changes.

Click Here for my Duck Race Flickr Album.

I'm seriously glad we experienced this blessed event. It was sure down-home-country, but something that I'll probably leave my current job for, in order to become a professional duck racer coach.

High School Booster Club Auction
This weekend, I ventured home for some time with the fam while Brian worked his tail off on an upcoming presentation. I got to rile up my favorite dog, realize that my Dad still yells insanely loud at High School basketball games, and also play a little guitar hero with sister Steph.

I was really looking forward to hanging out with Laura. She came to work for a bit to romance my co-worker Stephen. I think she also met every one of my supervisors. I also think I got her a job. Then we also ingested about 3,000 pounds of cheesecake and raspberry lemonade. Then we slept together. She's a farter during the night.

On Saturday we had Joey's man stitches removed and then we hit the shops HARD. Went to the new Briarcliff Village where I dined on Amy Butler fabric, Nell Hills decorations, and even bought Joey a dog waffle at the pet store. Then me and Laura hopped on down to the Plaza where I bought jeans that display my butt crack at Urban, and also almost bought a shirt that says I make good babies. Maybe a little too early for that one. Let's see how they turn out. I will not mention Laura's Victoria Secret shopping addiction. Or the fact that I tried on bermuda shorts at J Crew that made me look like I was a parking ticket officer with tube socks and hightops.

That night we spruced up for our high school's aution. The booster club puts it on to raise money for the school. I had never been before, so I was anxios and ready to bid. Laura and I kind of got out of hand and kept slapping down our bids on anything from a soy candle to a basket full of football plates (guilty). Sometimes we'd just toy with peoples emotions and raise the bids. The low point of the night was when I totally won the bid on a pair of cool-ass earrings, tables were closed, and some parent-beotch comes and slaps her bid down and turns the paper over. Uh? I tapped her on the shoulder and said that I had won those and she replied, "I know and I put my bid down and I'm in charge of flipping the papers over. Isn't that terrible?!" I wonder if it would have been terrible if I would have picked up one of the tables and slammed her in the jaw. Mom's still pissed about that story and vows that she will hunt down the lady and get those earrings back for me. She's on the committee and Sue doesn't mess around when it comes to honesty.

So since I didn't win the earrings, I focused on the McHottie basket. It had 12 coupons for free McDonalds select coffee drinks, a mug that said McHOTTIE, and these pretty little things:


I love me some Vera Bradley. Now I'll have a new lap top case to whip out. I also bid on and won Dance Dance Revolution for Brian. I lied and told him I had won him the 400$ personal bass fishing trip to the lake of his choice, but when I started to hear his voice quiver, I told him to relax, because I really won him an XBox game.

It was such a fun night. I'm totally going again next year. I even got to meet the man who does the voice of the Oscars, Yoda, and C3PO. I asked him to do impressions of all three. And then I licked him.

So that's about all for tonight. I've been locked up in my office for about two hours and I feel good about it. I'm preparing for a trip to Dallas to see the grassy knoll and my two lovelies. We always have the best time, so I can't wait to laugh and hug them for 6 straight hours. Not necessarily looking forward to the plane ride alone, so I hope I sit next to a chatty Kathy. They will talk to me whether they like it or not.

In other news, I just made friends on facebook with my 69 year old Uncle.