8/29/2005

BearGB22: dude. please don't think i live in retardsville.
CBMosReal: haha I wont..
CBMosReal: I heard thats God's Country up there..

Dudes. It's been awhile. I have apparently gone nuts. I am a full fledged, retarded decorator. I've spent the last 4 days turning my office, the place where I sit in for 8 hours a day, the crap-catch-all, into a masterpiece, if you will. I will.

It looks glorious. I painted it eggplant. Purple-gray. We moved furniture, organized, and freak danced our pants off because this room is so swell.

So, to commemorate this first morning in a new eggplant office, I woke up to get some Starbucks up the street. Which, in and of itself, is a rare deal for me, seeing as Brian wakes up at the crack of 5:30 and then re-wakes me up at 7:15 so that I may move it on over to the couch and sleep in front of the TV until it's worktime. So, I'm heading out the door and my neighbor is also. She said something to the affect of "Daaaaaamn girl! Are you okay? Shit." Ah? I was fully dressed in a nice Gap T-shirt and Jeans and my eyelids WERE open. So I felt like I had to explain that I really don't do mornings. And then she said, "Maaaan, cause I was gonna say..geeeeesh." Who does this? Who does, I ask you?

But here I am. Ready to go. Nothing really else went on this weekend. Ate at the Olive Garden,
watched the VMAs (Diddy makes me want to spin my head around really fast while vomiting)
(Did anyone catch the sopping wet K. Clarkson and her set of pipes?)
and just kicked it with the hus(band).

PS, sweet Meliss, you were so right. Brandon Flowers looked so good last night. I told Brian I'd have literally millions of his babies. I asked Brian who he would have millions of babies with and who does he pick? "Uhh. Who's that lady that's married to Beckam?" What? Yes. Posh Spice.
My husband wants to mate with Viki Beckam.

8/26/2005

"I love Lowes"

I will never be a professional painter.
In an apartment that has lost all air conditioning.
And requires edging that in turn, requires supreme patience.
That I do not have.
I want to vom.
It looks so great.

8/23/2005

Poll: Gay or Okay?


America, lock in your votes by using the comment box.

8/18/2005

I'd like to give the high salute to my online co-worker, one who keeps me going throughout the day with her wit, her stories, and her leg dimple.

You go girl.

Just a little sample of us:
BearGB22: ok, i just put in my very new and very empowering k. clarkson cd. We've got to make an important decision.
Amanda107: like, if we should invite her to headline our blog convention?
BearGB22: I should probably start of by telling you that I shaved my legs for basically the first time since birth, because I thought I would spice up my afternoon and put on my new black gaucho pants
BearGB22: i like you.. always thinking for the common good.
BearGB22: and maybe she could teach us her dark eyeshadow tips
Amanda107: that's what I'm all about, the common good.
Amanda107: and kclarkson
Amanda107: she's basically one of my favorite humans right now
BearGB22: nice touch.
BearGB22: so back to the matter at hand.
Amanda107: yes, the shaven legs and gaucho pants
Amanda107: (lukcy bri)
Amanda107: lucky, that is
BearGB22: pants are on, and the urge to take up a quick and new jazzercise class across town is racing through my head
BearGB22: baby bri is outta town
BearGB22: on the other side of the ring, (Since you Been Gone just came on) I have a supreme urge to shop.
BearGB22: and since Bri's parents have chosen to spend the weekend at our apartment instead of the comfort inn, i need to have some snappy outfits
BearGB22: because basically i've determined i am growing a fifth chin.
Amanda107: ok, I would look at this 2 different ways
BearGB22: did i also mention i purchased a membership to a very boring gym?
Amanda107: any decision that I'm making, in which one choice is working out, unless the alternative is putting my hand in a meat grinder, I'm going to go against the working out
BearGB22: oooh but if you saw my stomach you couldn't tell the difference between that and a vat of cottage cheese.
Amanda107: and, secondly, in any decision that I'm making, where one choice is shopping, unless the other choice is doing the crap out of jake gelynhall (sp?), I'm gonna go with shopping
BearGB22: ooh good call.
BearGB22: he's delish.
Amanda107: so, I feel this is an open and shut case
Amanda107: that pic of him on that myspace you sent me?
BearGB22: but seriously, i have like 4 butts
Amanda107: i almost feel out of my chair
BearGB22: whoopsie daisy!
Amanda107: dude, i saw a small dimple on the FRONT of my thigh this morning when I got out of the shower
Amanda107: now that's gross
Amanda107: i'm a disgusting human right now
BearGB22: hahaha you should join a circus with me
Amanda107: fat ladies?
BearGB22: with beards!
BearGB22: who do jake gyllenthal
Amanda107: quite perfect
BearGB22: well, cause see, i'm really wanting to go to the mall to show these pantaloons off.
BearGB22: and make those cornhuskers jealous.
Amanda107: ha.
Amanda107: Jenn Worship
BearGB22: is that my new stage name?
BearGB22: God cause i would get on the stage and do a sweeping rendition of "Because of you I never Stand Too Far from the sidewalk" by, Kelly J. Clarkson
Amanda107: no, it's the new state of all omahaians
Amanda107: hmmm, maybe I'll put her album on as well
BearGB22: Brian bought it.
BearGB22: shh.
Amanda107: what does that even mean? not stand to far from the sidewalk?
Amanda107: am I missing something?
BearGB22: all i can think about is hopscotch.
Amanda107: i can totally see you doing some interpretive dance of kclarkson songs and just laughed out loud
Amanda107: like, really overdramatic
BearGB22: can you see me? cause i am literally dancing in my desk chair
Amanda107: hahahaha
BearGB22: am i smelling a kelly clarkson tribute blog?
Amanda107: oh, i could do it
BearGB22: or am i just smelling my breath because, oh by the way, i just ate the whole can of honey roasted peanuts.

8/16/2005

Look out! Reporting live from Omaha. It's been quite a packed last two weekends. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, they were probably better than yours. But seriously, let's just dive right in.
I've got so much to cover, namely

The First Visitors Ever to our New Omaha Home.
(Great) Abs and Tyler ventured on up to RedTown only a weekend ago. We didn't waste any time and immediately dove head first into a Michael Jackson-themed dance fest. Only after viewing these pictures, do I realize that I need to hit the gym hard, because Mom is starting to look younger and more fit than me. Here, we have Brian himself demonstrating what it takes to totally take it to the limit:

He's a dish. This photo says, "Come visit us. We'll rock you hard."

Maybe now might be an opportune time to introduce the new love of my life, my new 100% Omaha pal, Jana. She's like an electric toothpick with a heart of gold, ladies and gentleman. We hang out daily, explore the rolling hills of Nebraska as a team, and apparently last Saturday, she took no prisoners:

Here's a shot of the gang:

...followed up by a picture you're probably gonna to want to order in an 8x10.


When we all woke up Saturday (after some tasty wheel-barrels full of Taco Bell) we toured around old Market, and eventually wound up at our favorite zoo, named after Henry Doorley.


Please note: Right here is all that could be recovered when I try to publish what I've been dedicating my freaking morning to. It asked me to re-sign in and I freaking lost it all. I want to murder Blogger right now and I just kicked off my slippers really hard and clapped so loud a couple of times that it made my hands hurt. Then I went into the kitchen and grabbed the counter and almost lifted myself into a full-blown handstand because I had so much fury in my body. Seriously, everybody on planet earth better comment on this one, because I'm almost tempted to erase the whole f'ing thing and eat 15 candy bars.

The best part of the zoo, was "Sue's carousel". Brian wasn't going to be a part of the 'sel, so he stood to the side and took pictures of the blessid event, as we laughed gailey on the merriment apparatus:

Solo picture. Can I get baseball cards made from this image?


After that was finished, we headed on home after I realized I was too fat to walk around the zoo all day without breaking out in large amounts of sweat and wheezing as I passed by all of the tattooed, net-shirt-wearing 15 year old's with 4 child's worth of a family.

This brings me to our next and second visitor, my name sake, Jenny Scott. She came this past weekend and the trip is fresh in my mind. I took the day off on Friday, and after a BK Breakfast, we were loaded up and ready to work. The task at hand was to re-decorate my apartment. I've been feeling a little low lately and needed a change of scenery. So I bring in Martha Stewart,

and now my living quarters look like a page out of Pottery Barn Magazine.

We visited Lowe's quite frequently throughout the day, for we were painting. We did the main wall in the family room and immediately took on the kitchen. God we rule. The day after, I felt like I was wearing blister gloves, I had concrete posts for legs, and a brand new 100$ ladder. I give you, heaven:

BEFORE:

AFTER:


There are no words..



And now, the kitchen. Before you think I've gone all Nickelodean on you, think again.
It's Terra Cotta people and it matches my new family room rug so perfectly I want to barf on you. Wa la:



After these two came back:


we decided to throw a party for ourselves since we had been painting from 10:30am-7:30pm, no lunch.. just giving Lowe's record revenue for a Friday. (Side note: Joe looks like a "Special Needs Elvis".)

We ended up going to Red Lounge where we were joined by Jana (who just got a kitty, Cohen. She tried to have his brother with one eye, but hmm, things just didn't work out in that department.)


The next day, Jenny and I discovered the cutest wine & grocery down in old Market:

We went antiquing and picked up some total deals. I even got yelled at by the fat, gay antique store owner because I tried to talk him down on a Spode Plate. Can you believe that?
God, I don't know anything! I got 2$ off, though.

While down in Old Market, Jenny and I were lucky enough to see some hippy dippy parade go by.
I was even luckier to catch Brian driving his computer van at the back of the line:


That night we went out to Kona Grill

and moved it on over to a bar called SHAG. Here, we saw a girl get kicked out and spit on the bouncer, a mad midget balding dad in a business suite walking around tapping guys in leg with his basket of peach roses, and some lesbian shadow dancers. We probably won't go back there.

I will not even attempt to touch MTV's Sweet 16 topic today. All I can say is that if I had the chance to hit that girl in the face with her white leather Juicy bag, I would take it.

8/09/2005

Where's Waldo?

Thanks to modern technology and Stephen Lambert, I give you: Jennifer's Omaha TV premiere

(click on the words next to the cute lil' red video camera.)
(I don't have a star role, so look closely: ponytail, navy shirt, purse under arm.)

8/08/2005

ah, is it fat that i just squirted taco sauce into my mouth in between bites of taco bell?

Well, I'm happy to report, I've tried the new Crunch Wrap Supreme and it's way tasty. Especially swimming in Mild Sauce. Seriously, Taco Bell should have known better than to have built an establishment right next to my apartment.

Today is quite the day, aside from having our first guests this past weekend. That'll come in tomorrow's post, you ungrateful hosebeasts. For today, ! , I have done great things. Like for example, over lunch, I ventured on over to the DMV for trip #2. This time, with every single form and paper that I own, in hand, I received my first front license plate. Not to mention Nebraska ones. Yes, I'm legal again! Meaning, lately I've seen many-a-news-story about how Nebraska po po's are cracking down on out of state and un-updated plates. Well, I wasn't gonna have that. So while waiting in the 4 hour long line of Nebraskans, I got a little airtime on the local news channel. Yep. I'm gonna be featured on the news tonight for being one of the bunch that has gone to this hellish place and spoken with the meanest ladies once you get up to the window. So yeah, I'll probably tivo that.

Man sakes alive, I'm tired. Probably from making a run to the border. So, I'm getting my fanny to that gym tonight and then a little trip to the Barn for a new rug and pillows, and then (the diamond) Laguna Beach. Praise be for Laguna. Hosana!

8/05/2005

Don't bother me. I'm having a moment of personal glory.


I'm sorry, but brand new fine-point sharpie pens in enough colors to choke a horse are probably one of the best things about life. I saw those sweet pens hanging up in the Depot and I knew they needed to be in my desk immediately. I mean for crying outloud.

Nothing's really new, people. I saw Must Love Dogs. It was cute. This weekend some pals are coming in town so it will be a packed weekend. We are even going to this party on the 19th hole of the LPGA tournament being held here in good 'ol Omaha. You laugh, but I think it's gonna be swanky.

It's getting real hard to wake up in the morning. Today I fell asleep on the couch, after moving there from the bed, with my mouth wide open. Brian said it was hilarious. I say, bring on the coffee.

God Bless the USA. I just ordered these.

8/04/2005

Seriously Brian, you can watch Sports Center whenever you'd like.

(click here, please.)

8/03/2005

This post is dedicated to the outwardly righteousness of Stephen J. Pri-Lambert, Jr.

May I begin this post out by saying that two new CDs have come into my life that are totally worth their beans. The new Anberlin CD and the new Emery CD. Seriously go get them if you need new music.
If you don't like them, I'll hit you in the face with a baseball bat and then give you your money back.

In keeping with the musical theme here, I'd like to submit to you, a link that I think you,
especially Mike Swak, might get a kick out of. Mike, you hang in there, bud.
Wouldn't want to meet this guy in a dark alley at midnight

Moving on, this weekend was alright.. spent it in KC. Had explosive stomach problems mid-Friday night, moved into Saturday nicely with some shopping in the old stomping grounds and Theater in the Park. Um, while at the mall I bought my one new true love. GAUCHO pants. God love 'em. For those of you that are not in-the-know, they are these capri-length pants that are really baggy, and when you put your legs together, it appears as if you are wearing a skirt! I also scored some killer dark jeans for 39$ at Express. Jenn is back (and ready to attack with an optically illusionated small butt). Then on Sunday I went up to Lawrence to see my pal Jonesy Colesy. FYI, I want a cute home like that. Minus the cats who eye me like they want to make a bloody warzone out of my neck skin. We shopped on Mass Street, ate at the Jeffersons, and eyed those $200,000 lofts going in downtown. What Lawrence-native hippy local is going to purchase one of those? You tell me. But I'd like a tour.

So, onto more serious matters, did you people watch the Real World last night? Holy cow. Let's just say, I watched it, and it automatically spawned a 2 hour afterward crying session/life and death talk with my husband. I'm not a huge Danny fan, but I felt like he was my pal and I needed to give him a call after the episode ended. Seriously heart-wrenching. Like, can we just have the re-union show now, so that I can know he is okay? And next week.. if he doesn't come back to the show, it won't be the same.
Who will take the walking boobs on the Valentines date she never had?
Come back, Dan. Come back. I do think that short-billed Sherlock Holmes tweed hat is kinda cute.

I'm enjoying the last of my morning Red Bull. I think it's a great way to start a day. Today I'm also getting my eyebrows waxed for like the first time since birth. I'm beyond excited. They're like so bushy I have to part them to see anything and barrette them to my face. Hopefully this recommended lady will be a pro at taming the wild beasts. Lastly, I can't wait to get my hands on the latest edition of Vanity Fair with Jen Aniston. God I love her. Screw Brad, I would date her. We'll talk about that article later.
I've got to get a move on.