7/30/2004

Might I say that this is the greatest day of my life?

A fresh blog. Dig in. Last night I didn't even change out of my work clothes until 1:30am.
Yes, that's correct, I blogged for an illegal amount of hours. So feast, children..for I will post.

Today for breakfast I had two saucy meatballs. Washed 'em down with some lime tortilla chips and about a case of Pibb Xtra. Sonja's retiring, we're parting in the cube isles and all has gone to Steph just said I shouldn't touch the cheese in a can or I'll be putting that cheese in another can very soon.
Ah, the Friday's at the Pri.

So the Big Spaz is coming in town this weekend. I can't wait. Oh, and I bought a bamboo plant for my cube today. Call me cool. Oh, and #1 super reader, I'll give you a cracker if you know who's lyrics those are at the top of this glorious blog.

Bombs away!

7/29/2004

7/28/2004

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday, are you mad at me?

The Red Robin Five Alarm Burger that I so artfully ingested last night is giving me gas.
And as I have gas, I listen to Chicago's "Dying In Your Arms Tonight". Classic.

The new Taking Back Sunday CD is pretty darn OK.

So there is not really much to report, other than the normal breakdowns. Last night I watched Queer Eye. That show just makes me happy. If that series ever came out on DVD, you bet your sweet money I'd be the first in line to purchase.

I'm taking a chill pill tonight. Going to have some salad and Simpson's with ProSpell. Then maybe I'll start running again next week. Because I'm about at the point where I need to wear a pair of pants on each leg. Bleh.
Somebody say something to make me smile.

7/26/2004

Today I felt like puking on the world.
I woke up sick, but thanks to a couple of Sprites, I'm feeling better.
Tonight's gonna be low-key, early to bed. Maybe I'll start my new book of choice.

Last night, a travesty occurred in the bathroom of Jennifer and Laura Hall, floor two. I went in, hoping to relieve myself in the facility. Upon opening the lid, I saw some toilet paper still in there, so I decided to flush prior to unleashing the beast. So that's fine.. it's flushing.. the water is swirling, but then I suddenly notice that the water is not going down, but instead, coming up, FAST. And before I could blink an eye, toilet water is rushing out of all sides of the bowl at a rate that's not exactly street legal. We aren't talking like a mist here, we're talking Niagara falls is pouring out of my toilet, full force, all sides are leaking. I start screaming because within 30 seconds, a foot of standing toilet water is on the bathroom floor. Laura starts getting towels, but does not wake Mom.
Bad plan, because when she puts a BEACH TOWEL down, it is immediately soaked and floating around the toilet water pool we have created. So I shriek louder, Mom comes,
freaks out, Laura grabs more towels, Mom does some magic mom thing
and shuts off the great flood of 2004.

Let's just say Jenn was a little hesitant in using the pot this morning.

7/25/2004

I'm a titch tired. I stayed late today in Omaha, cause I just never want to leave on Sundays. Especially, when we've had a weekend of awes home decorating.

On Saturday, Brian was feeling sick. Real sick. I had to make a mad dash to Bakers, to get soup and crackers, 7-up, and some movie rentals. Yeah, I rented Dirty Dancing's Sweet Hot Havana Nights, and I'm not afraid to say that. I might be going out on a limb here,
but I think it's Brian's new favorite.

After sleeping in on Saturday, we began what would earn us the gold medal in the power shopping competition division. First, we went to the best out door mall/garden that has ever existed on the planet earth.

Brian bought this decoration:

I bought these little glass boxes that go on our mantle:


Then, we went on down to the Furn Mart.
This is where I bought the best purchase in my 23 years of living:

Yes, a huge dining room table, which sits up higher than your average table, now sits in Brizzy Sizzle's apartment. It looks perfect. My feet don't even touch the ground when I sit in the chair. We had to do some assembling, and I will admit, Brian was Tim the Toolman Taylor. God, I'm so excited about that table, I just want to lick it.
Also, notice the Pottery Barn candle sticks. Please, stop the applause.

So yeah the rest of the weekend, besides John Moron and Village Pointies Hopping,
was spent together in the awesness that is the apartment.
Oh! I even redecorated the sofa table:

Please notice the flower arrangement I arranged in the middle. Yes, those are coffee beans in that vase! How cool am I. And the green balls and glass clock.
Seriously, I did a spaz dance after I had that table done.

Oh, here is a shot of our table basking in the heavenly light:

Just call me the sweetest person alive.

Now I'm tired and ready for bed and wish I was still in Omaha. Not in my bedroom in Kansas. But rather, in Omaha's Finest, Suite 303, Steeplechase Apartments, Omaha, NE.

7/23/2004

Um, Jones/Coleman is the best in the west.
She's head of the class.

But before the sweet treat, she was up to no good. At her own wedding.
Please review this picture.
See my Boyfriend staring at Steph.
See Steph staring back and having a moment with Brian.
See Brian undressing Steph with his eyes.
See Steph wishing Brian was her man hunk:


Sorry, Steph-a-roo, I'm going to visit him in about 3-1/2 hours. In your eye!

7/22/2004

It is now 11:01 pm and I just testing Mom's peach pie to make sure it is okay for the rest of the family. Ok, yes..it is very alright. Sweet mother I love pie.

Unique New York. Unique New York.
How now brown cow? How now brown cow?

I can't think of much to write,
except tonight I'm painting a house
and
this guy makes me laugh until I can't breathe.

7/21/2004

I do believe that Jay Z featuring Beyonce's Bonny & Clyde song is a hit surely to be enjoyed by audiences for years to come.

So I can't write for very long. I worked through lunch so I could treat myself to a dental appointment at 3:30pm. Honestly, not looking forward to the gum bleeding.

This is a funny picture of brian eating spiders:

Hahahaha. I'm such a clever girl.

Last night me and the John decided on a nice little retirement plan for me. I feel better knowing that my future is secured. I also fell asleep on my bed with the lights on and ate some corn on the cob.

Ah, the excitement will have to continue tomorrow.

PS. I'm wearing cool shoes today.

7/20/2004

I'm taking a moment out of suckville, to blog.

Today isn't the greatest. I dressed up in a nice black skirt and ironed the hell out of a collared blue shirt because I thought I was going to meet my Publisher-man. Did he swing by? No. That's cool. We'll probably top off the night by having something gross for dinner. Did I mention the pounds of work? Or having to plan my retirement plan? Jesus H. Christ. I'm ready to squeeze real hard and have all of my hairs shoot out of my scalp and into the air like Chinese streamers.

Commercial break for a funny like: Click Here, please.

On the upside, because there is always an upside, I enjoyed some rice crispie treats from the company bake sale. I also got a new horizontal file cabinet to put all of my new paperwork in. This is kind of exciting. I think I'm going blind in my right eye.

But enough of the complaints. I've got an online newsletter that's wanting it's mommy.

7/19/2004

Titanic, done by bunnies, in 30 seconds.

Wow.  I just went nuts.  Over lunch.  Nuts over lunch.

I went to pick up another green grass ball at Pottery Barn for Brian's apartment.  Then I decided that wouldn't work.  So I asked this angel for some decorating advice.  Well, before I know it, I had purchased a glass, thin, rectangular vase, 5 bunches of these long red/chocolate flowered branch deals, that will go in the vase after I fill it up halfway with coffee beans to hide the stems and smell up the apartment and make for an interesting visual effect.  Then I bought five long skinny iron candle stick holders for our dining room table someday.  Man they look stylish.  I also took the liberty of opening up a Pottery Barn credit card. 
I'm very glad you love the Barn, Brian.  Very glad.

This weekend was cool.  Omaha-style of course.  Monte and Rowdy came up to visit.  On Friday night we went to a free concert in a neighborhood Omaha park, featuring the band, 311.  Maybe you've heard of them.  If not, I'll hit you in the face with a baseball bat.  It was fun and very free. 

Really, the rest of the weekend was nothing compared to Saturday at around 2:30pm.  Um, let's just say Brian and me picked out the engagement ring and Brian bought it.  I still have a perma-grin.  I'm so excited, people.  It's literally perfect.  Our lady started crying when we said we'd take it.  All of the worker-people who came by refered to it as the "Oh Shit Ring" and she said when she saw the ring that morning she almost pooped.  When she said that, I knew it was the one. 

So, Brian, if you're reading this.. feel free to put it on my finger any day now, big boy.

And... now I have carpel tunnel syndrome.

7/15/2004

Blog time, cool kids.

Why not start out with the dream I woke up from at 2:43am last night. All I remember was that all I was walking around this very hilly town and all of the sudden, terrorists had found a way to take away like gravity or something. Maybe it was more like oxygen. Because people were all skuttling around then then I just felt this WAVE go through my body like there was so much pressure on my body. And the ground was like pulling on us like we were being magneted into the ground, HARD. It hurt to breathe and I got very nervous and so scared. And then we all fell over dead. So then, I woke up and I was freaking out. I was half asleep, half not, half scared out of my wits. Then I went back to bed somehow and I had another dream about this. Except this time I was on a plane and all of the sudden the whole world got pitch dark and the plan was doing that magnetized thing and we were sharply pulled to the ground and this force kept pulling us, but we couldn't be any closer to the ground. And it was so dark and it was like life was over with. So I woke up again and I was seriously thinking about turning the tv on, but then I didn't because I thought there was someone in my house that would know I was awake. Luckily, I managed to go back to bed and sleep through the alarm, wake up and have 15 minutes until work. Hence, the ponytail.

I just got back from an awes lunch at Chipolte with Meliss and Steph.
Man, was it good to me. Hot sauce is a new good thing.

Someone's car horn had apparently decided to go off in the parking lot at lunch. We're not talking about a car alarm, we're talking a constant mixture of two horn pitches.
It was ugly and sounded like razorblades.

Tonight, maybe run, lapse into a food coma, maybe coffee, and packing to see my H.B.

(can't wait)

7/14/2004

Bad day continued.
My eyeballs ache. I feel like I'm going to throw-up.
I hate cars, ball joints, and tires plus for existing.

Warning: my car might drop from the wheels because I am choosing not to replace some rusty ball joints. This is what "Nolan" who freaking looks like a dirtier Benico Del Torro,
if by the grace of God, is even possible, said.
Tonight I'm shopping and eating, watching the Simpson's on the tube and just being a worthless pile of skin on a Christmas morning.
In other news, last night I re-balanced my checkbook from the last 3 months and found the area where I was off the online total by 30 cents. God, I'm lame.

Brian, looks like I'll be rollerblading to Omaha this weekend, buddy.

7/12/2004

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I am having one of those moments where I hate living at home.
And it's about 9,841,687,695,198 degrees outside.
And my glovebox exploded in my car. While I wasn't even in it.
This means that every single paper dealing with my car was spit out and now covers the entire inside of the car.
It's too hot outside to run like I had planned for new-fitness-Jane-Fonda-Jenn,
so I must resort to the hell that is treadmill.

This weekend was fun. Not much to report. Thaun got into a fight, I cried,
I saw S. Morison, and I didn't get any sleep. And I ate like the entire mass of this earth.

I'm just depressed.
And I think that the only thing that will help me is midgets of Lawrence:

7/09/2004

Sweet mother of mercy.
I just finished eating 12 pieces of sausage pizza.
And now I feel like sausage has taken the place of skin on my body.
Sick. I feel like I need a shower.

So, yesterday I saw the glorious movie, "The Notebook". I'm talking Grammy, Tony, Blue Ribbon, The Lombardi Trophy, Oscar, Emmy, Gold Medal, give them all to this movie, because it rocked my face off. Seriously, it's the best movie I may have ever seen.
I want to see it again tomorrow. I want it to come out on DVD and I want to have it continuously playing on a loop in my bedroom.

God! The Rolling Stones "Start Me Up" just came on the iPod. That either means it's time for the Cheifs to kickoff, or I am gonna freaking dance around this office.
I have so much energy people.

So the movie was good, minus the lady that sat next to me. I don't mean to be a meanie, but she was a large marge. She like oozed through the seat cracks and over into my personal space. And of course she had like giganto big gulp bucket of soda that she slurped through the straw. And she had like the popcorn-maker-cart basically sitting in her lap. Then when she was done with all that, she wiped her hands for five minutes on the state of Kansas's paper towel supply. Then, she reached into her purse to get out the most giant tube of lotion the world has ever seen. She squeezed it out, it smelled bunk, and the she lotioned herself up real good.
I felt a little nervous throughout the movie.

Oh my cheese and rice, get me outta work and into Lawrence.

7/08/2004

*++* Make sure you check out the Winnebago Man link. Over there on the left. *++*

Well loyal readers, nothing is really going on in my world.

Yesterday, I went to a couple of Steph's softball games. I also battled the treadmill.
I took a muscle relaxer and let's just say I didn't wake up until 7:14am, when I had to leave the house at 7:30 for work.
Go sleeping pills, go sleeping pills, go.
The new Taking Back Sunday album comes out on July 27th.
I'm excited to go to Lawrence this weekend.
Oh, I also purchased the new Modest Mouse CD.
Ok, so I'm boring. Read these sweet words:

"well, in the end, my friend, we will all be together again.
Clutching onto my hand, in a valley we'll stand,
just living again and in a while we'll smile, march on another mile, on hallowed hills,
attached to the land we'll be still.
No one's ever gonna say a thing, and we'll be together,
together again taking off to the city on down."

7/07/2004

First things first. I came back today to work and I found that I was nominated to become the new member of the FUN COMMITTEE. This meant I could attend the monthly luncheon meeting, held just an hour ago. Eww. We had baked potatoes.
We could even add taco meat or baked beans! I guess it was better than these Apricot Fruit Flips that are sitting on a table in my cubicle row, free to any brave taker.

Now, back to more funner things. Yes, funner. I'm back from STL, babies. It was such a nice time. On Thursday, poor Brian drove from Omaha, ripped a dragging piece of metal off the Civ with his bare hands, and then picked me up in OP. We then headed on to the Lou. Brian was real tired. But it's okay, cause later I gave him a mohawk in the bathroom:


On Friday, we woke up and didn't do much. I basement-wrestled Brian and won, though. We ate at Cali Pizza Kitchen with Holly and Jon and then went over to their new APT.
It was totally awes.
Even got to see their little weenie neighbor's big man monster truck in the parking lot.

On Saturday I bought some nice jewelry at Hongs. We went out to dinner at a place called CJ Muggs down in a quaint old town. I saw a "Maxjazz" sign. Don't know what it means, but here I am maxjazzin' it down an alley by the restaurant:

Here's a picture of the happy couple on Main Street:

Ah, that night we also watched Bad Santa. I felt bad while watching it, okay?

On Sunday, it was happy fourth of juuuu-ly. First off, we went to an air show right under the Arch. It was neat-o. I saw hovering Harrier Jets and a pair of Red Barrons, and I even learned what "show center" was. Because see, we had this really really cheesy announcer man who threw a lot of inflections in his voice and always did play-by-play commentary on what exactly the planes were doing. And he always finished the sentence out with "Like that! Just as nice as can be!" So it was like, "Here come the Red Baron stunt pilots, soaring up to stage center where they will perform a wing wave, and there they go, down to a half vertical pike, and directly into a linear barrel roll like that! Just as nice as can be!" One plane's performance was dedicated to the American dream. It was choreographed to music and the announcer man reminded us all at the end to "reach for the stars, be true to our country and always live out our dreams in the American way."

So this air show was part of the VP Fair. All around the Arch, you could buy corndogs, lemonade and more tickets. My was there a load of different people there.
Here is a picture of me in front of the arch:

And here is a picture of an actual mullet, billowing in the wind:

Yeah, picture Brian, no fear, standing about 4 inches behind this gent,
capturing his 'do forever within our little Nikon digicam. Yessssss.

Also, we were lucky enough to see Saliva's full set.
Yes, get jealous, they were playing at the fair.
Here is me, Saliva's number one fan, doing some hard rockin' :


After that experience, we headed back to Jenny Scott's cute house,
my home decorating inspiration, and we had a little mexican. Later on,
we viewed these fireworks randomly from somebody's driveway after we drove for 10 minutes:


On Monday, we did some power shopping even though we were spent. Then we enjoyed a wonderful dinner at home with a side of severe lightning and power failure.
We also went to see Spiderman 2. I also bought an US Weekly magazine.

Yesterday, we woke up, got all pretty:

and went to this swanky restaurant downtown called Monarch.
It's my favorite place of all time. I felt like I was in NYC.
Then I cried cause I was scared, flew home, and kissed the ground that is Kansas.

7/02/2004

Hey yo.
I'm in the Lou. STL. I drove past Nelly's house.

I wanted to tell you that I electrocuted myself on Tuesday night. Isn't that special? I
was trying to plug in my heating pad and read a book at the same time and I was reaching behind me to plug it in and I think I plugged one of the prongs into that middle hole.
This caused a shockwave to rip through my left arm, burning and very hot.
God, who does that.

I thought I wouldn't be able to use my left hand again, but we're back in business.
Now I just have a good electrocution story to tell.
I also saw Napoleon Dynamite. I keep wanting to call it Napoleon Bonaparte.
That is by far the most funniest movie I have seen since the dawn of man.