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Stephanie*
Sweet Meliss*
Suffix Abuse*
Kristina Contes*
Stilley Stuff*
Dooce*
Laura*
Cookies For Breakfast*
Nie Nie Dialogues*
Rachel*
Anchored Nomad*

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doodies
the runs
jorma taccone
f my life
delights
the found magazine
do you have the time?

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Can't you hear me?
Cause I'm screamin'.

Did not go outside.
Yesterday.

Don't wake me, please.
Don't wake me.
I was dreamin'.

Well I might just stay inside again
Today.
Well I don't go out much these days.

Sometimes I stay inside all day.
Leave me
leave me
leave me
leave me
Alone.
Won't you leave me alone.
Don't you leave me alone.

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ghetto google
look at a book
brandon flowers
sex & the city quotations
best trailer, worst movie.
quotations.
idiot girls club
Get high on JESUS

When they say "Don’t I know you?"
Say no.
When they invite you to the party
Remember what parties are like
Before answering.
Someone telling you in a loud voice
They once wrote a poem.
Then reply.
If they say we should get together.
Say why?
It’s not that you don’t love them any more.
You’re trying to remember something
Too important to forget.
Trees.
The church bell at twilight.
Tell them you have a new project.
It will never be finished.
When someone recognizes you in a grocery store,
Nod briefly
and become a cabbage.
When someone you haven’t seen
In ten years
Appears at the door,
Don’t start singing him all your new songs.
You will never catch up.

Know you could tumble any second.
Then decide what to do with your time.

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This is a new garden over old flowers.
Wish that one day they'd figure out
how to shrink stars
and i could keep one in my bedroom.
And wish that me and him could grow old together.
And wish
that in my next life I come back as a tiger.
These are fun wishes.
In about seven minutes you can start.
'Til then, you'll just listen to the radio
from seat's edge.
As if then it's the look on your face.
As if, as if then you'll matter,
And then I can't wait.
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and never the two shall meet
said the tiger to its greatest fan.
the amount of love
you wish to give
is more than i can stand.

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11.01.2010-11.30.2010
10.01.2010-10.31.2010
09.01.2010-09.30.2010
08.01.2010-08.31.2010
07.01.2010-07.31.2010
06.01.2010-06.30.2010
05.01.2010-05.31.2010
04.01.2010-04.30.2010
03.01.2010-03.31.2010
02.01.2010-02.28.2010
01.01.2010-01.31.2010
=======
12.01.2009-12.31.2009
11.01.2009-11.30.2009
10.01.2009-10.31.2009
09.01.2009-09.30.2009
08.01.2009-08.31.2009
07.01.2009-07.31.2009
06.01.2009-06.30.2009
05.01.2009-05.31.2009
04.01.2009-04.30.2009
03.01.2009-03.31.2009
02.01.2009-02.28.2009
01.01.2009-01.31.2009
12.01.2008-12.31.2008
11.01.2008-11.30.2008
10.01.2008-10.31.2008
09.01.2008-09.30.2008
08.01.2008-08.31.2008
07.01.2008-07.31.2008
06.01.2008-06.30.2008
05.01.2008-05.31.2008
04.01.2008-04.30.2008
03.01.2008-03.31.2008
02.01.2008-02.29.2008
01.01.2008-01.31.2008
=======
12.01.2007-12.31.2007
11.01.2007-11.30.2007
10.01.2007-10.31.2007
09.01.2007-09.30.2007
08.01.2007-08.31.2007
07.01.2007-07.31.2007
06.01.2007-06.30.2007
05.01.2007-05.31.2007
04.01.2007-04.30.2007
03.01.2007-03.31.2007
02.01.2007-02.28.2007
01.01.2007-01.31.2007
=======
12.01.2006-12.31.2006

10.01.2006-10.31.2006
09.01.2006-09.30.2006
08.01.2006-08.31.2006
07.01.2006-07.31.2006
06.01.2006-06.30.2006
05.01.2006-05.31.2006
04.01.2006-04.30.2006
03.01.2006-03.30.2006
02.01.2006-02.28.2006
01.01.2006-01.30.2006
=======
12.01.2005-12.30.2005
11.01.2005-11.30.2005
10.01.2005-10.30.2005
09.01.2005-09.30.2005
08.01.2005-08.30.2005
07.01.2005-07.30.2005
06.01.2005-06.30.2005
05.01.2005-05.30.2005
04.01.2005-04.30.2005
03.01.2005-03.31.2005
02.01.2005-02.28.2005
01.01.2005-01.31.2005
=======
12.01.2004-12.31.2004
11.01.2004-11.30.2004
10.01.2004-10.31.2004
09.01.2004-09.30.2004
08.01.2004-08.31.2004
07.01.2004-07.31.2004
06.01.2004-06.30.2004
05.01.2004-05.31.2004
04.01.2004-04.30.2004
03.01.2004-03.31.2004
02.01.2004-02.28.2004
01.01.2004-01.31.2004
=======
12.01.2003-12.31.2003
11.01.2003-11.30.2003
10.01.2003-10.31.2003

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Counters

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*blogger, for my life hobby*
*haloscan, so no one can comment*
*Schrags, my html GOD*

11/02/2011

Just another riveting night at the Scott house. Brian is watching Roll Bounce and I have hair that could win first prize at the local perm contest. I got my hair done tonight and she asked if she could curl it. I told her that she'd basically be curling my hair so that I could look good on the couch watching Project Runway.



Also, my foot, just one foot has swelled up to the size of China. Do you see how sexy this blog has become?

+ posted by Special J at 10:36 PM
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11/01/2011

You guys. It's been about a calendar year since I've blogged. I didn't even remember my password or how to log-in. WHAT IF YOU DON'T THINK I AM FUNNY ANYMORE.

Let's do a top ten list of things that have changed:
1.) I.am.with.child.
2.) Still working at ad agency. Feel good about it.
3.) Went to New York City and turned 30.
4.) We're finishing our basement. And this causes a marital dispute every single night.
5.) Osama Bin Laden is dead.
6.) I will take off my clothes if you promise me an ice cream sandwhich.
7.) Brian says that one of the things that is different is that I have new glasses.
8.) We no longer use Netflix.
9.) Our Pottery Barn furniture collection has drastically increased.
10.) I am an overweight supermodel.

We'll dive into my baby story another day. For now, you just need to know that I still feel 12 years old, however I'm now making important decisions, like what nipple flow size I will feed an actual human being, that oh by the way, I grew from scratch.

The highlight of our day today was the new Hy-Vee grocery grand opening down the street. I also reserved my room at Delmar Gardens. It was such a gorgeous store and naturally, I was so hungry to support this new business that I made us purchase delicacies such as cheese popcorn and half of a raspberry bundt cake.

Look at it this way. First post of 2011 and I've already used the word nipple.

+ posted by Special J at 8:12 PM
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11/30/2010

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Yup, it's the last day and I'm throwing up gang signs on my blog.

Today it snowed like nuts and I think I got behind someone who legally should not have been able to drive. I left my house at 7am and didn't get to work until 8:19. Is it bad that we still have our pumpkins up on our porch?

I purchased two poinsettias tonight and we are just about done with our Christmas house. Tomorrow I plan on watching Sex and the City 2 with my pal while basking in the glory of my Christmas house.

I am tired, so I will retire to bed. It's been real NABLOPOMO. I need to tell you about Cleveland next.

+ posted by Special J at 11:28 PM
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11/29/2010

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Today I might have worked from 6:45 am to 6:45 pm. And then after I came home and housed a home made burrito, I made Brian dive into Christmas hell and reorganize our house for the holidays. The devil made me do it.

To all you people who still want to do something for New Years, have no fear. I want to do something. Just perhaps more informal and something that doesn't cost me $500 plus the cost of a holiday ham. Maybe we can just marvel at how bad Dick Clark talks and have some shrimp dip.

I literally want to make love to my nook. It is the coolest thing. So proud to be an owner. It makes me want to read, read, read. I take satisfaction in seeing the progress bar at the bottom get closer to completion. It makes me really happy.

Did I tell you guys that I bought the W Magazine featuring Kim Kardashian's large bare ass? I can't stop staring at it. It defies all logic.

+ posted by Special J at 9:53 PM
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11/28/2010

Holy Mother-Loving God.

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Tonight we drove seven hours in the car, six of which, I slept through. Just kidding. Not really. We are finally home and because I'm psycho, I decided we needed to get in the Christmas spirit and totally kill ourselves. After watching the chiefs murder the Seahawks, we made that Christmas dream a reality. And now I want to die.

I don't know what it is, but I still feel like it's March. And I'm 12 years old. Time is flying. But I'm super jazzed because John and Sue are coming up for one of their famous 24 hour visits this Friday! So that gives me a reason to have everything in tip-top shape.

Brian suggested we get a fake tree this year because we'll be in KC and we are not having a new years party this year. I told him to go get the scissors and cut off his genitals, because that's the same feeling that ran through my heart when he said that.

+ posted by Special J at 9:42 PM
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11/27/2010

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Recap of my Saturday:

I woke up at the hour of ten, had some delish egg casserole made by my mother-in-law. I also discovered a deep obsession with creme brule coffee mate. OH DEAR GOD. Then I proceeded to color the day away with my 13-year-old cousin in law. Brian printed us out sheets to color and one of them included Will Smith.

We went out for a bit to get some fresh air. Brian went on a shopping spree and decided to buy his weight in electronic entertainment. When we got home, we were treated to a dinner feast of bracioles, made lovingly by Brian's full-blown Italian aunt. Pretend there was a midget made entirely of tomato sauce. And I ate him in 30 seconds.

And to tell you the solid truth, I gave a lesson in guitar hero last night and felt totally spent. And do you know that nook cases cost about half, if not more, than the actual nook does? It's highway robbery.

Also, please tell me that the above image is not the greatest thing since the dawn of man.

+ posted by Special J at 9:25 PM
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11/26/2010

God bless it, is anybody even reading these anymore? Today was a superior day. Although I did not make it out the door early, I did manage to score the one thing I was coveting, at the doorbuster price. Ladies and gentle men, I now own a Nook! I'm more than jazzed. I also went on to buy a full-sized glitter belt.

Tonight we had a wonderful dinner with old friends and then proceeded to watch Oprah's favorite things like normal couples do. My mouth hung open the entire time. I would have been fine with the over-priced tunics that she gave away. Or the year's supply of pot pie.

+ posted by Special J at 11:40 PM
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